I'll Point You to the Mirror
by BangxDitto
Summary: I woke up this morning. I woke up and heard a familiar noise. It was mix between a car crash and a cat being run over.
1. Awake

**_i thought that it'd be a little fun to go back to my roots in fan ficton. so heres a fun little teaser chapter. im not sure if this is going to go anywhere, maybe your reviews will stir my mind hmmm? =]_**

**_this story is rated M for excessive swearing, because i...like to swear. ;D_**

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><p><strong>Ch. 1: Awake<strong>

I woke up this morning. I woke up and heard a familiar noise. I was mix between a car crash and a cat being run over. I let out a short sigh and fanned my hands through my hair; my greasy blonde locks. I haven't showered since Monday. Yummy. I rolled over in bed, hoping that it wasn't...

But it was. My clock on my nightstand confirmed that it was seven thirty AM. Fucking shit. You know when you ahve those days when you just wish...for once. One time you'd keel over, just to see how much you matter to those around you. It's like shit...whatever. Next thought process.

I wonder how they'd feel. God, if they'd just shut the fuck up! Dad's a stock broker. Mom, a jittled social climber. What the fuck do those even mean? Christ.

I grabbed a large gray knit Gucci sweater off a nearby chair and tossed it on over my tank top and boxer shorts. I slowly padded my feet towards the kitchen. Thankfully that part of the apartment was on the opposite side of the living room; where Dying Cat and Car Crash currently made music.

I brewed a pot of Earl Gray tea, and prayed to the Cosmos that my head would stop beating long enough to focus. It wouldn't take them long to realize that A) I'm up and B) I've heard them all morning. The teapot whistled. I took it off and turned the stove off. I poured a cup and sipped. I gave them two minutes.

Dying Cat came first, "Sharpay. You're up."

"Yeah."

"How are you?"

Dying Cat seems to enjoy the denial approach. Since I obviously "just woke up", as she likes to think, I heard nothing. I wonder how long it'll take the two to tell me the divorce papers are so close.

"Tired." I took another sip of my tea.

"Did we wake you?"

"A little." I blew out a sigh, "Ryan home yet?"

"He left early this morning for his morning jog." Car Crash spoke, "He'll be back soon."

"Kay." I headed back to my room. It feels like the only lifeline I have is my twin, Ryan. Damnit, why did they have to be yelling so fucking early...!

I locked the door to my room and walked over to my closet. I opened the double doors and walked inside.

Louis Vitton, Christian Dior, Prada, Juicy, Chanel, Burbarry, Ralph Lauren, Girogio Armani, Dolce & Gabana, Jimmy Choo, Tommy Hilfiger, Calvin Klein, Gucci, Guess...and even a little bit of Hollister and Abercrommbie & Fitch. Not one thread of...happiness.

I tend to wonder to myself if I'll try to care. But...I don't know. Whatever happiness is, it isn't in this closet.

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><p><strong><em>so yeah-this is my little tease! =] please review and let me know if i should continue with this little thing or let be release to the wind.<em>**

**_Review. =]_**


	2. Unsalted Butter & Feet

**_okay guys. here's chapter two, with a lot less swearing than I intended. I guess I wasn't as angry as I was when writing the first chapter_**

**_**For the people who've already read** I'm just fixing up the chapters;  
>Fanfiction decided to be dorky, and delete my break offs. Nothing will be different,<br>I'm just fixing it so the flow doesn't suck_**

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><p><strong>Ch. 2: Unsalted Butter &amp; Feet<strong>

Well. I've got to wear something. I picked a bright yellow Prada sundress, matching Jimmy Choo ankle strapped peep toe heels, and a black Guess bag just so I didn't look like a complete ball of sunshine. I left my closet and walked into my adjoining powder room. Styled like the fifties, I picked that on a good high. I stared through the mirror after sitting on my cushioned stool. My hand slided down the handles of drawers nearby.

Top: Covergirl, second: Mac, third: Makeup Forever, fourth: a mix-match of nameless brands and makeup tools, and the fifth-which I can't reach-hair accessories/necessities. I feel Covergirl today. I opened the drawer and grabbed foundation, Lashblast, neutral eye shadows, and pale pink lipstain. I opened the fourth drawer and grabbed brushes and shadow appliers. I breathed a shaky breath; I covered one applier with a taupe color. My hand shook, the applier fell into the nearby sink. I lowered my head on my arms after crossing them on the counter. Salty tears fell from my eyes as my entire body shook.

"Hey Shar I-" I heard Ryan's voice, then his footsteps, then his hands on my shoulders.

I lifted my head high enough to peer at his reflection through the mirror. My eyes were glistening, red lines down my cheeks.

"Sweetie." He grabbed the other stool by the other sink and dragged it over. He sat down.

"I'm so sick of it."

"Me too." He smiled, "Now let's paint your face so no one will know."

**..:….:..**

After showering and dressing, and Ryan styling my hair in teased downwards pigtails, I left the complex with Ryan and headed to the parking garage. After reaching my car, we were off to East High.

"So. Explain your powder room meltdown."

I pushed my Chanel sunglasses over my eyes; the glare of the sun was getting too bright.

"I wish I knew."

"The last time Mom said you brewed the wrong tea. The time before that Dad dropped your ceramic tea cup." He looked to me, "Pattern?"

"I don't like talking to them."

"Why?"

"Because Ryan. They're...walking out on us."

"Why are you being so over dramatic?"

My mouth dropped, "A-Are you kidding me! They're on the verge of flinging the divorce papers at each other."

"I think they've hit a rough spot."

"A rough spot..." I looked through the windshield, "So you like playing the denial game too?"

His eyes averted to the window.

**..:….:..**

So East High is your typical drug filled, sex laden, sexuality questioned box. I seem to put on a roll for these people. I guess that's how I started to enjoy acting. I made it my life. I coyly curved my lips and began a Lady Gaga-equse beast in the back of my mind. I started my strut down the hallway. I felt the eyes I drew; my Jimmy Choos pounding on the stained tiles. I felt them. Their seething, loathing, or-on the off chance-admiration. I took it in like I would drinking salt water. I always make it from point A to point B. Point A is opening the doors; point B is getting to my locker. I get lost in between, focusing on my beats. I rounded the last corner and reached my locker. While turning the dial, I felt more eyes. My hand started shaking again.

"Shit..." I muttered under my breath.

"Hey." I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see Kelsi, the resident musical nerd. My only friend.

I side smiled while shaking my head, "The eyes Kels..."

"I know." She sighed, "Did you want another pass out of Chem? We can use extra practicing for the Winter musical coming up soon as an excuse..?"

I shook my head, "As much as I hate being there, if I miss anymore I think Ms. Turner will burn me with her favorite Bunsen burner." We both laughed, "Thanks though." I opened my locker and through the mirror in the back, I spotted another pair of eyes. A light blue pair that everyone could link to only one person. I shut my locker and turned, leaning against it.

"Morning Sunshine."

"Bolton." Everyone knows that, yes he is the star basketball player on East High's varsity team. He's also the biggest stoner on campus. Irony? I smell it.

"You look very yellow today." He usually dresses in tight gray jeans, stained white shirts, and some sort of jacket. Today it was a stereotypical leather one.

"You look stereotypical today."

"Yellow like a lemon I see."

"What do you want?"

"Chemistry project Ms. Turner's gonna assign...you and me...partners?" The only reason he's asking me this is because throughout my years of high school I've figured out I'm really good at odd things. One of them is Chemistry.

"Need an easy A?"

"I'll participate." He grinned like a goofball. I wondered how high he was.

"I'll think about it." I pushed off my locker and started to walk away.

"See you then." He called.

"You're not letting him obviously know you're mondo attracted to him." Kelsi smiled as she caught up to me.

"Well. It's not exactly something I plan on letting happen."

**..:….:..**

"So! Partners for the upcoming project." Ms. Turner, the AP Chem teacher, paced about the room. The lioness stalking her prey, "I'll...play the nice card. You can pick your partners." There was an audible sigh in the room. It was kind of funny.

He slid into the stool next to mine, "Sunshine. Thought about my offer?"

I turned to him, "Fine."

"He smiled, "Really?"

"Yes." I smiled, a bit annoyed, "Really!"

"Okay." He nodded.

**..:….:..**

"So you complied?"

"Yes." I stared at the road as I drove Ryan and Kelsi back to the apartment, "Why do you find it so hard to believe?"

"Because when you're not crushing over Bolton, you're seething over him like a bi-polar psycho." Ryan smiled.

"Remember who's driving. I'll find a tree on your side." I smiled back.

"So how's home life?" Kelsi asked.

"Hell in a box."

"It's better than it has been."

"Can you two ever agree on anything?" Kelsi laughed.

No.

**..:….:..**

Home wasn't all the accommodating. Apparently, Car Crash forgot to buy unsalted butter. They fight over the dumbest things; Ryan recently told me that this morning's squabble was that Dying Cat had her feet on the couch. What! What is that, ugh! I'll never understand pineal things like romantic relationships. Maybe that's another obvious reason I don't want to inquire my feelings about Troy. The only relationships I know are going up in smoke.

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><p><strong><em>So, here's chapter 2<br>you know what to do._**


	3. The Elephant in the Room

**_guess not having a car and waiting for my parents to pick me up from my class last night tremendously helps cause i holed myself up in the library while waiting and wrote the bulk of this chapter there. enjoy._**

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><p><strong>Ch. 3: The Elephant in the Room<strong>

"So the results of the aptitude test." Kelsi laughed while talking in a mock deep tone.

Once the three of us reached home, we immediately holed ourselves up in my room. Kelsi was currently bouncing around on my bed and we communicated with Ryan from the closet via cell phone. He was in pretty deep.

"Hold on, hold on..." I flipped open my Sidekik, and let out a laugh filled breath, "Ryan's dream job, according to the school's test, is an optometrist."

Kelsi looked to me; I returned the glance. We both burst into a laugh fit.

"Wooo...that's the craziest thing since sliced cheese."

I nodded, "Funkiest too."

We took this test a few weeks beforehand and Ms. Darbus, our study hall teacher, finally gave them back.

"You?" I looked at the envelope in Kelsi's hand.

"Let's see." She continued in her mock deep tone, "Drum roll, if you will."

I was sitting by my desk on its chair. I wheeled to the desk itself and began to tap.

Kelsi made a slice through the air with her hand-my signal to can it. She cleared her throat, "I shall be..." She opened the envelope, "Something super smart in the medical field!"

"...It says that?"

"No Blondie." She teased, "But I don't know what it is, the description says blahblahblah...medical field, blahdebloo." She stuck out her tongue, "Your turn."

I sent a text to Ry, letting him know I'm opening my bombshell. He somehow made it back in my room in thirty seconds. I slid my finger in between the flaps and tore.

"I am..." I pulled out the papers, "Suited in a drama field. Stage or television/movie actress. Drama teacher or radio host."

"Well the radio host is new." Kelsi smiled while her final jump landed her butt onto the bed itself,"Ow..."

Ryan laughed, "You had it coming."

"Do you think I'm subject to change?"

Kelsi frowned a bit. Ryan walked over to me, sitting on the desk.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I mean, we've been taking these aptitude tests since..."

"A long time." Kelsi finished my thought.

"Yeah. And I'm always suited for drama."

"Is that such a bad thing?" Ryan countered.

"Is it good?" I countered back.

"It just means you know what you love Shar." Kelsi shrugged, "Do you need more?"

**..:….:..**

"Sunshine."

"Yes Bolton?" As customary for Chemistry, Ms. Turner asked us to give our partners our phone numbers since they're our lifelines this entire semester. You said yes Sharpay...remember that. You could've said no.

"I was thinking about you."

"Oh really?" Sarcasm has been my forefront lately.

"Yes really. I think we should meet up. Talk a bit."

"Bolton?"

"Yes Sunshine?"

"How high are you?"

"I am stone cold right now."

"Figured." I sighed, "Where are you?"

I grabbed my keys and off I went. Driving at five AM with a tank top, sweater trench, and boy shorts on. Fuck. Good thing I keep an extra pair of Guess jeans and Uggs in the trunk. I thought it'd come in hand one day...

Troy Alexander Bolton. Heh...tells me to meet him in The Field. Oh okay! The Field; the infamous stoner field behind the local cemetery. Great shit...he'll probably ask me to shoot up. Or get high or...whatever stoners do...ugh. Whatever.

I stopped the car by a busted up red truck; need three guesses? I opened my trunk, did triple-takes, and then quickly changed into the jeans and Uggs. I grabbed my purse and sped walked through the cemetery. I can't stand cemeteries. They just spell out what everyone can't say. So-and-so's dead. Dead. D-E-A-D. Dead. Even I can't say it out loud.

"Sunshine!" I heard his call as I made it through the patch of trees in between the field and the death ward. He jogged over and I watched. And watched...and watched...and...

"Sunshine."

He was in front of my face.

"Troy." My face has no makeup. My hair is now greasy again and up in a fucked up bun, "It's five thirty AM. Why am I up. Why did you call me. What am I here...in The Field...at..."

"Five thirty in the morning." He finished for me. That fucking goofy grin on his face, "I wanted to know my partner a little better." He grabbed my hands and swung our arms back and forth.

"Are we five?"

He gave me a mock seductive look, "If you wanna be..."

Okay. Great getting to know you, Troy.

**..:….:..**

"Prodigal Sister's back!" I heard Ryan call as I entered the apartment.

"Honey!" Kelsi barged into the entry room, "I was so worried!"

I laughed, "I missed you too Mom." We hugged.

"But seriously." Kelsi said while leading the way to the kitchen, "Where? Who? Why?"

"The Field. Bolton. He wanted to get to know his partner."

"Oooo..." Kelsi smiled, "So what did you learn about him?"

"He has a kindergarten fetish."

Movement abruptly stopped in the kitchen.

"Heh heh...heh heh heh heh..."

"Ryan."

He laughed more, and then Kelsi joined him. I laughed too.

**..:….:..**

'Sharpay!"

...

"Sharpay!"

"Oh...!" Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! morning I rolled off my bed and onto the floor.

FUCK! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck; What is that! I lifted myself on my knees and saw remnants of a glass elephant where my stomach laid. I must've knocked if off my nightstand. Fuck!

"Sharpay I'm not going to call you again..." Dying Cat opened the door.

"Ow..."

"What did you do!"

"You yelled, woke me up, and then I fell."

"That glass elephant was paid for by your father and imported from Milan!"

"Wait." I looked at her, "I fall on a glass object, possibly cutting up some part of my body, and now you care about what Dad does!"

**..:….:..**

"Eternal Damnation to those who oppose dear Sunshine."

I sighed. Ryan, Kelsi, Bolton, and I were currently walking down the halls of East High.

"Seriously Shar." Kelsi wrapped her arm around my shoulders and lightly squeezed, "You're Mom's a psycho."

"Yeah. I'm agreeing with you for once Shar. Mom went way over the deep end."

"Whoa." Bolton stopped the trail of us, "Who's the new prospect?"

We all looked on to behold a Philipino-equse frame leaning into her locker. She was clothed in a large pink sweater and a long fugly printed skirt. Old people shoes dawned her feet. Those white kind. ...Orthopedic...

"Gabriella Montez."

We all looked to Ryan.

"What. My office work comes in handy sometimes. She's a new transfer from Colorado."

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><p><strong><em>welp! Here's ch. 3. <em>**  
><strong><em>be kind...review<em>**


	4. Scamming Cynthia

**_Yay this story is gaining popularity! That makes me uber excited! Well here's the latest installment; btw Ms. Turner's blabbing about chemistry is not true, I know nothing of Chemistry since I haven't taken it since sophomore year and therefore don't remember anything ;D so just ignore her_**

**_P.S.-Major props to Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johansson's Break Up CD. Listening to it repeatedly helped me write all this in 4-5 hours._**

**_P.S.S.-When I signed in beforehand, the code thingy you need to fill out to prove you're human gave me the words scamming Cynthia and I thought that'd be a perfect title. =D_**

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><p><strong>Ch. 4: Scamming Cynthia <strong>

"Her face is like…flawless." Kelsi commented first.

I rolled my eyes, "She probably uses the Neutrogena Wave."

"You use that." Ryan looked to me.

"…The green one." I quickly changed the subject, "So anyway. Colorado?"

"Yup." Ryan nodded, "Her mother works as a staff writer for some local magazine that's also randomly has a Colorado version. She was transferred here, because of some scandal with the editor-in-chief."

"What..?" My eyes gleamed, "Scandalous mother with Virgin Mary daughter? That is pretty…scandalous."

"Is the look in her eyes supposed to be good?" Troy asked.

"No." Kelsi shook her head, her attention pointed to me. Ryan took note as well.

Gabriella Montez turned from her locker. Troy looked away from my face; they had "a moment".

Shit. I know where this is headed.

**..:….:..**

"So, if you add the quantum measurements of Carbon and Uranium…"

"How much of Gabi do you think your twin knows?"

"Uh…I don't know." I avoided Bolton's eyes as Ms. Turner continued to teach the class.

"I mean, she seems like a nice kid."

"Yeah. Sure she does."

"You don't like her?"

"I didn't say that."

"You don't like her." He sighed, "Sunshine…"

"Why? Do you?"

He shrugged, "I'm not sure…"

**..:….:..**

I think my heart was murdered somewhere between fourth and fifth period. Kelsi told me that she heard from Ryan that, after our discussion in Chem, Bolton asked Gabriella out. She said yes. Who'd blame her. I think people have now labeled me as "Zombie Chick"; I just slowly glide through the hallways like all of my soul was sucked away. It's in the crystal I recently noticed Bolton hung around his neck. He can keep it. It hasn't helped much anyway.

Upside? Apparently, Bolton's good friend Chad has recently come out to the school. Ryan's had a crush on him since the third grade. Chad asked him out; Ryan made out with him he was so ecstatic. When he told me, I smiled. Then I felt my heart die a little. I seem to be losing everyone.

A week has gone by since my catalyst Chem conversation. Fuck me. Fuck me and my fucking life. Fuck. I heard the obnoxious buzz that reverberated throughout the apartment. I walked over to my speaker after flopping off my bed. Thank God each room has their own.

I pressed the button, "Hello."

"Sunshine."

Ugh. Fuck. Fucking, Fuckity, fucker…, "Yes?"

"We have chemistry to concoct."

For once, I wished my parents were home. The only time I wished they were in the middle of their preteen-equse fits.

"You told me to meet at your place?"

I buzzed him in, "Come on up." I walked to the kitchen to brew some much needed Ruby Red Chai. As I set the tea pot on the stove to heat the water, there was the knock. I turned on the heat before heading to the door.

"Hey." He smiled.

I moved to the side, "Come on in." He entered; I lead the way to the kitchen. His jacket today was a gray knit sweater trench. His head had one of those knit caps that covered the back of the head and up to his bangs on. It was black.

"Tea?"

"Yup." The pot whistled., I took it off and turned off the heat.

"I'll have some." He smiled. I grabbed two cups and saucers. We walked to the table and I set up everything. He tore the teabag out its wrapper and placed it in the teapot to steep.

We sat across from each other. Silence ensued. I looked into his eyes, trying to decipher why the hell he'd think Montez would be a suitable girlfriend. She's shy, smart and way too much like Granny Smith. Dresses like her too.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"Montez?" I asked while pouring the tea.

"Yeah. Montez."

"Why?"

"Sunshine…" He whined playfully.

"Does she enjoy your kindergarten fetish?" I asked in a defeatist tone.

He sighed, sipping his tea, "Whoa! Hot…"

I nodded.

I hope Montez enjoys crayons and fucking fingerprint.

**..:….:..**

"Hey!" Ryan called from the doorway as I discarded two teacups and two saucers into the dishwasher.

"Hey." I walked back to the table to grab the tea pot.

"Fuck." I stopped short, noticing Bolton's Chem book in the spot he left it all night. I could be a complete bitch and not give it to him until class tomorrow. Then again, there was homework due for class tomorrow.

I hate being a nice kid at heart. I grabbed the book and left the teapot in the sink.

"Hey. I have to go give Bolton his book back. He'll want-" I decided to look towards Ryan as I talked after reaching the sitting room that was within steps of the door. I saw Ryan and Chad fucking each other's faces.

"Okay as much as I support Gay Love!" I was one notch before yelling.

Their make out session stopped briefly, "Sorry." Ryan smiled apologetically.

I smiled, "You have condoms right?"

"Sharpay!" Ryan's cheeks reddened. Chad gave him a loving smile, softly kissing his lips.

"I'll be back later." I grabbed my gray sweater trench and Uggs, and left the apartment.

After driving around for what felt like an hour, I found Bolton's place in a cozy suburb. Much different from my city streets; drivable for one. I grabbed the book out of the back before heading to the door. I knocked.

"Sunshine." He pulled at his sweater trench, "We match I see."

I smiled a little, "You're a clothes stealer." We laughed.

"What's going on?" I heard an ill fated voice. Montez showed in the edge of the kitchen I could see from the doorway, "Oh! Hello Sharpay." Her smile makes me want to die.

My smiled dropped, "You left this." I slammed the book into his chest.

"Wait. Sunshi-" I closed the door before he could finish. I headed back to my car.

"Wait!" He yelled before I got in, "Look." He paused, running to me and grabbing my hands; swinging them back and forth, "There's a big game tomorrow night. I want you to be there."

"Why?"

"Cause you're Sunshine. I need you there."

I smiled in a melancholy fashion,. I dropped my hands and got in my car. I started it up.

"So will I see you?"

I looked to him, "I'll think about it."

**..:….:..**

Of course I was going. I mean, he asked me right? I'm sort of super excited. I wanted to dress to impress. Let him know what he's missing, so he'll leave Granny Smith. I ransacked my closet and finally found a D & G halter top dress that definitely helped with my impressing idea-tight and sexy, but not trashy. I paired it with black Charlotte Rogue tights and red Chucks (after some major digging for them).

I wanted to go for a punk rocker-equse look, so Ryan painted my eyes black and my lips a funky pink Mac color that worked. He teased my hair out into wavy rock star hair. That stupid Herbal Essences' commercial has nothing on me. I added a thick black and red plaid head band behind my bangs when he was finished. I grabbed a shiny red clutch to finish the look off. Step aside Granny Smith; I have arrived.

The drive to the school took longer than usual due to unnatural traffic (tragic foreshadowing). Fucking city…

When we did arrive, Kelsi already had a bleacher saved for us. We met her and I sat in the middle: Kelsi to the right of me, Ryan to the left.

"Wow Sharpay! Someone wants to fight." Kelsi nodded in approval.

"Thank you. Ry and I worked very hard."

Ryan nodded, "Ooo! I'm so excited."

"You just want to see Chad all hot, bothered, and sweaty someplace besides the bed." Kelsi joked.

Ryan blushed, "Hush. We haven't yet."

"No!" I was surprised.

"I want to wait." Ryan smiled with dignity.

"Oookay. So Kels. Why are you joining us? I thought you hated sports." I changed the subject.

"Well…"

"She wants to see number 33 all hot, bothered, and sweaty." Ryan got her back.

Kelsi let out breath, as if there were much sexual tension in the gymnasium, "Oh yes…" We all laughed.

"Jason huh?" I asked.

"Jason. Yes…"

"It's starting." Ryan said as the team came running out onto the court.

This game, in turn, was pretty epic. The Wildcats pitted against the Trojans. Am I the only one who giggles each time the announcer says, "And So-and-so of the Trojans shoots for three!" I just…I don't know.

Anyway, the score was 21-20, the Condoms leading. There was twenty seconds left of the clock. Bolton's Dad called a time out. Ryan had bought a huge thing of popcorn at half time; it was in between my legs. The three of us were eating it while our eyes were glued to the team's back as Coach Bolton gave out the play. They breaked and went out. Jason had the ball, faked and passed to Zeke. Zeke spun and passed to Chad. Chad to Troy. Two seconds. Troy makes a three!

The loud buzzer went off. Final score 21-23, Wildcats. The crowd was wild. Kelsi, Ry, and I stood and hugged, screaming and hopping around. The popcorn flew around everywhere.

I felt a pair of eyes on me. I looked on to see Bolton's eyes smiling at me. I…I…

Gabriella…Gabriella Montez ran to him, his eyes followed her all the way to him. They embraced and kissed.

My heart was revived and murdered again.

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><p><strong><em>Okay that is chapter 4! What? You can't not expect relationship tribulations right? Come on now. Don't fret, Sharpay and Troy won't be idiots for long.<em>**

**_Be kind…_**

**_Review!_**


	5. Angelina Lips Goes to a Cemetary

**_Hello my lovelies! Here is the fifth installment of the series. I had a lot of fun writing this chapter since it's the first time our Troypay will had a TLC moment. Yay._**

**_And in case anyone is wondering; I've sort've been writing this story chapter to chapter. Like what random craziness can I add to the story without driving too far away from the main plot. But I do plan on something to go on in the near future. Like over summer break: I see scandal involving hair dye, name aliases, and table dancing. ;D Ooo! I'm super excited._**

**_But here's what you've really been waiting for._**

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><p><strong>Ch. 4: Angelina Lips Goes to a Cemetery <strong>

"You are such a fucking child Lynette! Do you ever think of anyone, but yourself!"

"About as much as you think about Sherry, Lucy, Tabby, and Jessica! You slut-faced dog! I cannot stand your presence!"

"What is it this time?" Kelsi asked me as the two of us stared at my door from my bed. It was nine o'clock at night. Two hours ago everything was normal, quiet, and sane. And then…

_Slam! _You fucking bitch! There's no money on my credit card! What the hell!

I wanted to treat myself to a lovely week at the spa! Since you froze all of my cards, I took yours.

Blah.  
>Blah.<br>Blah.

Incessant, stupid parents! I swear, I've gained more maturity this week than they have as their entire time as adults.

"Mommy dearest spent a week at a spa using Daddy's card. Since he froze hers, it seemed like a plausible idea at the time."

"Whoa. That's some major craziness." Kelsi blew out a sigh, lying down on her side of the bed. I mimicked her.

"So. We haven't talked about Saturday night."

I rolled onto my stomach, "That's something I don't ever, ever, ever, ever, ever want to talk about. Ever." I suffocated myself into my pillow.

"You've stated your point. But you can't act like it never happened Shar. Tuesday school resumes and it's Monday night."

"Uggh…dom't remnd mmrrr…"

"Right. Sorry. I guess I should just shut my mouth."

I turned on my side, facing her, "Did you bring those movies?"

She grabbed her bag on her side of my bed. She opened it up and dumped its contents all over my sheets, "And enough popcorn to feed the U.S. Marines!"

"Let's have a movie night then."

Kelsi spread her pajama clad body out on her side of my queen sized bed. It was two AM, and we watched Pride & Prejudice, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Juno, Hairspray, and Mama Mia! How? you ask, in that little frame of time? We had one of those slowed time moments. The moments when you think something will take you till four AM to do. Then when you steal a glance at the clock after you finished; it's only one thirty.

**..:….:..**

"What do you think about lesbians?"

"…What?"

"Seriously." Kelsi turned her head to face me, "What do you think about lesbians?"

"Are you thinking about becoming one?"

"No silly!" She laughed, "I was just thinking that they must have easier relationships is all."

"What. It's two women. I couldn't imagine all the drama…"

"But women care more about what's underneath I think. With guys, you can never tell if they want your body or your soul."

"I guess so. Never really thought about it that much."

Silence.

"So, what are your thoughts on drag queens?"

"Go to bed Kelsi."

**..:….:..**

The dreaded morning came to where school resumed. I wonder what Troy'll say in Chem; if he'll say anything at all. This whole thing was pointless. Why did I say yes to be his partner? Why did I let someone like him get under my skin? Cause I'd take any opportunity to get closer to him, and his persona makes you melt, and stay solid at the same time; regardless of the fact he smokes pot. I'm completely hopeless.

I slammed on Ryan's door, told him and Kelsi to get out to the parking complex in five, or I'm leaving them to fend for their own rides, and left the apartment.

God they're taking too fucking long. I pulled out of my spot, out of the complex, and drove down the road.

My thoughts have been overpowering me lately; almost as if I'd cease to exist without them. I just can't get past Saturday night. That was the most embarrassing thing that could've ever happened. Kelsi and Ryan obviously knew that since they were there, but still that was so major shit thrown onto my plate.

It seems like Troy does everything where I think he'll spare my feelings, but only makes them worse. I mean, he knew Granny Smith for like a half a period, and BOOM! Collision into a relationship. Now he acts like we're best buddies, but it seems we want to be more. I want to be more. He obviously doesn't. What does it matter; he chose an apple over a pomegranate. Granny Smith's apples must taste better than my seeds. Bitch.

I hadn't realized that through my therapeutic session in my head, I drove myself to the shitty parking lot by the cemetery. Well, I'm here. Why bother even trying to go back to school. I let out a sigh, realizing that I had on only a tank top, cardigan, and a pair of jeans too thin to keep my legs warm. It's getting colder outside; what the fuck was I thinking.

I hugged myself tightly after getting out of my car. I pocketed my keys since I was too lazy to get my purse and recently put the top down, and left the car after locking it.

I proceeded to walk through the cemetery. Walking past the lost souls of the world; the only thing keeping them alive was a giant slab of stone. I lost someone once. It was a long time ago; I was five and my grandparents passed. Everyone was so sad and crying through the whole service, but I thought about how odd it was that they both died at the same time. Since then, I wanted that to happen to me. Whoever it is that I end up with; I want us both to die simultaneously, so we don't have any time to live apart from each other. Maybe I'm too much of a romantic.

"Sunshine?"

Fuck.

I heard Bolton's steps quicken; I figured I couldn't run away from him no matter how hard I tried, so I just waited for him to catch up.

"What are you up to Sunshine? Ditching class I see."

"Yeah." I sighed, "I was thinking too much on the ride over there, so I ended up driving myself to the deathward."

"You think cemeteries are ugly?"

"I think they're disgusting."

"I think they're beautiful."

…I looked to him, "What?"

"The everlasting memory that you know your passed person is safe somehow." He walked three slabs down, "Come here." I complied, walking over to him.

"I…want you to meet my mom." He had a sad smile on his face.

Beatrice Bolton  
>1976-2006<br>Loving Wife and Mother

I wiped my eyes, "Hi…Mrs. Bolton."

He laughed a little, "She says Hi."

I punched his arm playfully, "Stop."

"No really. When I come here, I hear her. She says she likes you a lot."

I breathed out a sigh, "Yeah well…" I couldn't finish my thought process.

Knowing Bolton would share something like this with me was unbelievable. Although, I'm sure he and Granny Smith have com here thousands of times.

"Sunshine…"

I looked to Troy; his eyes were liquid and his nose was turning red.

"Troy…" I breathed and pulled him into a hug.

"I miss her so much Sunshine…"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't ever leave me, Sunshine. I need your light."

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><p><strong><em>Well this is it! Chapter 5 outta there! Am I sweet or what?<br>Be kind  
>Review<br>P.S. I've noticed that this is the first time I've only had 3 time breaks. That's a new record for my writing._**


	6. Even Barnes & Noble Couldn't Save Her

**_Hello my darlings! I was thinking of you so much recently; I decided to write another chapter! So-here it is. I wrote the last two sections of this in my Theatre class, so I ignored my professor for you guys for about a half hour. Be happy. [It's not that hard since he's so impassionate about something he supposedly loves]_**

**_I have also been disclosed by a certain reviewer that they are actually a Troyella fan-but just LOVE my fic. I love being a Troyella lover's guilty pleasure [oh, oh, oo, oh oh. oh, oh oo, oh oh. You wake up in your bra and your make up...]_**

**_But anyway-here's the next installment. More Troypay TLC moments! ;D_**

**_MONDO WARNING!: If you are not a fan of SLASH! relationships [i.e.-Ryan and Chad's little thang going on] then do not read the section of this story that starts with "Since I'm sick, I've decided to pick up some well forgotten books." If not, then read on! Cause I find it extremely hilarious and am so glad I was able to add this scene in this chapter. :D_**

**_Disclaimer: A section from the book Little Women by Lousia May Alcott is used in this chapter. It belongs to Alcott respectively and I harbor no stealing/copying from it. Just thought it would enhance a scene to make it better._**

* * *

><p><strong>Ch. 6: Even Barnes &amp; Noble Couldn't Save Her<strong>

I hugged him tighter; he returned the gesture while in sniffles and hiccups.

"I wanted to tell you." He said after calming a bit.

"What?" We were still in a hug.

"You're the first person to meet my Mom."

My eyes glistened with tears; I was the first.

"I talk to her all the time. She said she wanted to meet the cute girl in Chem class." We both softly laughed.

"Tell her thanks for me.

"No problem Sunshine."

**..:….:..**

"Sharpay Angelina Evans! Why were you not in school today!"

I looked up after stamping my feet on the carpet by the front door. It started to lightly snow as Troy and I parted was back at the deathward. I'm probably going to catch the swine flu die.

"Well. I need an explanation!"

And what's with its official name anyway? H1N1, why don't we just call it R2D2 or something? It's tragic.

"Sharpay!"

"Huh...?" I looked up at Dying Cat.

She grumbled angrily, "School. You weren't there. Why."

"My car broke down halfway there. Luckily, Troy Bolton showed up, after five hours of me waiting, to help me out. I would've been screwed without him."

"Oh. Well, tell him thank you for me." Then she did something super odd. She kissed my forehead.

EW! EW, EW, EW, EW, EEEEEEW! Glagh! Blarg! Ugh!

I smiled as happily as I could, "Okay..." I then beehived for my room.

.**.:….:..**

"Hey Sunshine." Troy had called me.

"Yeah?"

"What do you think of roses?"

"Ummm...they're tacky." I let out a breath of laughter, "Sorry. I'm more of a gardenia fan. Why?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Just because." He hung up.

Weirdo.

**..:….:..**

"Shar!" I heard Ryan call from my room, "There's something for you at the door!"

I hot out of my bed and slowly made my way to the door. As I predicted, I am currently sick. Kels and Ryan kept joking I'm swiney; not cool. Ryan also was excused from school to "take care of me". Dick. I never got to get out of school to "take care of him".

"What is it?" I asked-my throat dry and cracked; I bent down.

A neat wicker basket filled with gardenias! Oh my God; he didn't...

I grabbed the basket and went back to my room. Ryan was at the doorway while I sat down on my bed. I found a small card attached to one of the sides where the handles meet the basket itself.

_Thank you so much for being there when I needed you most, Sunshine. You always have a knack for doing that.  
>Troy.<em>

I smiled and saw that under the flowers there were boxes of crayons and finger-paints.

I smiled wider.

**..:….:..**

Since I'm sick, I've decided to pick up some well forgotten books. Another thing I found that's odd, and I'm good at; I love reading books everyone else hates. Mainly, those classic novels you have to read in English class. Currently I was in the pages of Little Women by Louisa May Alcott.

_Fired with a housewifely wish to-_

"Oh...! Oh God...!"

...Oookay...

_To see her storeroom stocked with homemade preserves, she-_

"Oh...! Yes! Yes, God yes!"

What. The. Fuck.

_She undertook to put up her own currant jelly. John was requested to-_

"Oh God Chad! Yes! Harder, harder!"

I slammed my paperback closed and quickly left my room. I walked down the hall and into the front room; sitting on the couch and trying to read in peace. As much as I support gay love; I really don't want to hear them going at it.

"Oh God Chad! You're such a MAN in THAT department! AHHHH!"

I grabbed my Sidekik out of my pocket. After checking the time, I called a familiar number.

"Troy?" I croaked.

"Yeah Sunshine?"

"I need a mondo favor."

**..:….:..**

"Thanks for letting me stay here for a little bit." I smiled while Troy teetered around in his kitchen.

After witnessing my twin ahve crazy butt sex with Chad; I was thinking I wanted out. Troy said he wasn't busy, and that we could tell his Dad or Granny Smith that we were working on Chem if they were suspicious.

"No problem." He placed a bowl by me. I was sitting on a stool at the Bolton's breakfast bar. It was a small counter in between where the kitchen table was, and where the actual kitchen was.

"I hope I don't get you and your Dad sick." I coughed.

"Neh." He shrugged, "Dad's never here, and I smoke so much pot; I swear it's a big antibody. I haven't gotten sick in years." He poured a big helping of chicken broth in the bowl. He grabbed a spoon out of a nearby drawer, "Now." He dipped it into the bowl, "Eat up all this good broth." He placed the spoon by my mouth.

I laughed lightly, sipping it up, "You've seen the Little Women movie with Rynonna Ryder I see."

"Course I have." He shrugged, spooning another broth helping,"I read classic novels and love watching their movie adaptations."

I sipped again, "Really! You read classic novels."

He dipped, "Yeah. Charlotte, Emily, and Ann Bronte. Victor Hugo, Charles Dickens, Shakespeare, Poe, Agatha Christie. I'm currently into Jane Austen right now."

I sipped, "And you're sure you like girls, Troy?"

He whacked my arm playfully, "Yes. I'm positive." He dipped. I sipped.

"Did you enjoy my basket?"

"Yes. Yes, I did."

"That's good."

"It was." I smiled, "You get me my favorite flowers."

He smiled and dipped; I smiled and sipped.

**..:….:..**

I heard myself snort before fully regaining conscious thought. I slowly lifted my head and realized two things. I was on a couch. I was on a couch and I was in a house I don't know. I heard footsteps; it was dark, so I had no clue who-

"Sunshine, you up?" Troy turned on a light.

I hissed lightly as my eyes squinted to adjust; he laughed.

"You're cute, Sunshine."

"Well thanks." I croaked flatly, feeling super poopy at the moment. I dryly coughed.

"You fell asleep after you finished all your broth; it's about eleven o'clock at night."

"My parents are going to kill me." I sighed, rubbing my forehead.

"I called Ryan to give him a heads up." He smiled, "They think we're working super late on our Chem assignment."

I smiled back. I don't know waht or where the two of us...are. But I like wherever that is.

* * *

><p><strong><em>alright that's chapter 6!<em>**

**_Also-please note that what Troy said about pot-IDK if that's true. I don't smoke, so most likely it's not. But I thought it'd be cute? to add._**  
><strong><em>Be kind<em>**  
><strong><em>And Review!<em>**


	7. The Operator Says 'The Number's No Good'

**_Hello all. Inspired by random holidays that give most days off; I decided to work very hard all day on the next installment of this story. So this is for all the war vets out there? ...Nah. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't want to be mentioned for something like this. ;D _**

**_I also feel like the world's biggest loser. I went to iconator dot com and went crazy on avatars. SO! Mine will be changing. I'm such a loser, but I'm okay with it!_**

**_But yeah! Enjoy bitches._**

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><p><strong>Ch. 7: The Operator Says 'The Number's No Good'<strong>

"Hello! Future swineys of the sick world! I BROUGHT MUFFINS!"

I let out a hackly laugh, coughed, and then looked to Ryan, "Go answer the door!"

He sighed, then stretched himself out on the large leather couch we were both occupying in the sitting room, "Why can't you?"

"Cause I had to listen to your butt sex." I tossed a pillow at him, "Go answer the door."

"Fine...but! Don't mention it to Kels." He walked over to the door and opened it.

"Hello darlings!" Kelsi glided in, looking very Paulina Proiskova-equse. She placed the basket she had dangling on her arm onto the table by the couch, "Freshly baked from my Marmee."

I had a strained smile on my face; I couldn't hold it in any longer, "Ryan had crazy butt sex with Chad!"

"Sharpay!"

"He's no longer a virgin." Kelsi gasped overdramatically, "You can't be in our Virgin Club anymore."

I shook my head, "Nope."

Ryan sighed, "You guys will do it at some point."

"Anyways!" Kelsi grabbed a muffin.

"There's chocolate chips in..."

Kelsi nodded; I lunged for one.

"Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho...chocolate!" I shoved it in my mouth.

"Where were you yesterday?" Ryan asked.

I stuffed my face more,"Mrr...hrr...rrrr...fmmmhrr..."

"Really Shar?" Kelsi rolled her eyes.

I swallowed,"Chem project at Troy's."

"That went all day? And you slept over?" Ryan interrogated.

"Yes and yes."

**..:….:..**

I stared at my Sidekik; maybe-no. I mean possibly-nope. Yeah-no.

I growled angerly at my unsettling thoughts; I don't want it. But at the same time! AH! I sighed, and contiuned to stare at that damned phone.

I haven't seen Troy since..."Now eat up all this good broth". And. My God; I want to see him again. Fuck Granny Smith in her non-existent vagina; damnit call my phone!

I am sending brain waves to you, Troy Bolton. Pick up the phone. Pick-up the phone. Pick-up the phone. I moved the phone from the kitchen counter by the fridge; it was now placed on the counter by the stove.

Pick-up the phone. Pick-up the phone. I started bouncing a little; recalling Amber Tamblyn's pants dance in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2.

COME ON! Pick up the phone! Call me! PLEASE!

...

I left the room.

**..:….:..**

I watched Kelsi stick out her tongue; she stuck out her thumb and moved it around "testing the angles".

"Hey guys I-" Ryan walked into out old storeroom on the lower level of the complex, "Holy-wow!" He was almost barraged by a slap of hot pink.

"Sssh!" Kelsi held up a purpled index finger to her lips, "We are making art!" She went back to thumb sticking.

"What...are you two doing?"

I walked over to him. The store room was a box, but it was perfect for Kelsi and I, "Dad said I could use this as a therapy room." I pointed to the various jars and cans, "Troy's paints are being splattered at the back wall that's supporting the large slab of white fabric you paint on." I went back to my throwing place.

Ryan walked over to us, standing in between, "It's..." It looked like random colors falling from various angles, "Awesome."

"Thanks Ry." Kelsi smiled, "We must be great artists."

**..:….:..**

Within the past week I have:

-Gotten over my cold  
>-Made various "paintings" with Kelsi<br>-Have to go back to school tomorrow  
>-Crammed all my make-up work into a single finishing day<br>-Still haven't seen/talked to Troy

I suddenly feel like Mariah Carey's "Obsessed" song. I think I'm going insane. Yes, I have admitted I liked him. Yes, we have had moments that I wished happened as us being a couple.

And yes. I have had various fantasies that involve him, me, and a bottle of Cool Whip. Okay!

I sighed, staring out the window of my room. I watched the traffic try to blur; like it does in the suburbs all the time. It obviously fails to an epic proportion.

Like life. You wish you could just graze on through; taking what you want and leaving what you don't being your one wish. Then you wake up, and realize a taxi cab is screaming at you. My taxi's name?

Granny Smith Co.

**..:….:..**

I walked through the halls of East High. It felt good to be...somewhere else.

"Hello Swiney." Kelsi joined me in my walk to my locker.

"Hey. Don't joke with me. I'm feeling better, but I'm still infected. I'm planning on a school-wide pandemic."

"Ooo! Sounds like fun. Starting with?"

"Granny Smith."

"And ending with?"

"Mr. Higgins."

"Your English teacher?"

"I'm so sick of getting C's on his papers."

"I see. Any survivors?"

"You, me, Ryan. Jason, Chad, and...maybe Troy. Depending on-" I looked up from opening my locker.

At the end of this current hallway were a set of bathrooms. Troy had Granny Smith pinned to the outside wall. They were doing some major face fucking.

I slammed my locker closed, "I lied. Troy dies second."

**..:….:..**

"I don't see why you're angry with him all the time though." Kelsi shrugged while she and I made our way to the coveted lunch table. It overlooked the lower half; since we had to take a concrete stairwell to get to it.

"Ummm, why?"

"Ummm, because he never flat out said he wanted to date you."

"Whose side are you on Kels!"

"Yours. But I'm trying to help you see his. You two started as Chem partners and are now pretty good friends. That's all."

"Thanks a lot Debbie Downer." I pouted as we sat down at the table.

"I prefer Rebecca Realist."

My seat was in the center of the circular table; if that's at all possible. I know Geometry says it is, but...whatever.

I could see out into the lower half of the cafeteria. Troy's gang sat in the center table down there. I watched as he flirted with Granny Smith. The eyes that they shared; the touch of the hands they used to show their affections.

I wanted to vomit.

I was down in the storeroom; cooking up a major concoction that was stronger than chemistry and kindergarten combined. Though Kelsi did prove an obvious point; I'd wished that I didn't believe its truth.

Troy never wanted me as anything more than his "light".

* * *

><p><strong><em>Uh oh. Trouble is'a brewin'<em>**

**_Be kind_**  
><strong><em>Review!<em>**


	8. They Echo Me in Circles

**_Hello everyone. Sorry this took so long to let out, but my creative well is running dry for this story. I'm hoping or a new rain, so I don't have to stop production on this lovely tidbit._**

**_Also. I dreamt a lovely dream last night and-drum roll-it will be a new idea for an upcoming story! I'm excited! I will be releasing a trailer for it at the end of this chapter and you must, must MUST tell me if it is a good enough idea to create. I probably won't start writing for it until I either finish I'll Point You to the Mirror or until I run out of ideas for this story. Be happy-it won't be so cynical; I'm actually planning it to be sort of light hearted. Mostly. ;D Can't get rid of my roots._**

**_Also! I use sections of the play Mother Courage and her Children by Bertlot Brecht. I had to see it since it was being put on at my junior college. I had to write a review for it for my Theatre class, and it really stuck me emotionally. So yeah-all of the characters and snippets I used belong to him respectively._**

**_Okay. Anyways. Enjoy!_**

* * *

><p><strong>Ch. 8: They Echo Me in Circles<strong>

"Sharpay. Please come out for dinner in five minutes. I wish to have a nice family dinner."

I started to laugh, but caught myself before she could hear it, "Okay."

I walked out of my room, and caught Ryan before reaching the kitchen, "What the hell man?"

He shrugged, "I have no clue, Shar."

"Hello..." Dying Cat jingled as we sat down. Car Crash was at one end; Dying Cat at the other. Ry and I occupied the sides.

...,"Okay. What."

"What, what?" Dying Cat smiled.

"We...haven't..." I sighed, "You're getting divorced."

"What are you talking about Sharpay?" Dying Cat smiled.

I looked over to Car Crash; he's reading the newspaper totally uninterested in the current conversation.

"Deny as much as you want, Mom. It's evident." I stood up and pushed back my chair, "I'm in the mood for takeout." I tossed my napkin on my plate and left to get my car keys.

**..:….:..**

I sat down at a close Subway munching on my Spicy Italian in Italian Herbs & Spices bread. I think I'm either going mental, or Dying Cat's just that stupid. I'm voting option two.

"Hello Java Lava."

I saw Kelsi sit across from me; she religiously held on to her chicken teriyaki sub she ordered, "Got a text from Ry Bear. What's cookin?"

"Teen angst. General depression and petty misery."

"Oh Java..." Kelsi blew out a sigh, taking a bite of her teriyaki.

"Please don't drown me with your pity..."

"You should come see the winter play." Kelsi smiled, changing the subject, "I'm in it."

"What is it?"

"Mother Courage and her Children. The tragic story of Mother Courage and how she slowly loses everything she holds dear in the thirty years war." Kelsi sighed in a dramatic fashion.

"Who do you play?"

"Kattrin." She smiled, "The mute daughter."

"How sad is it?"

"If you don't cry; you're heartless." She smiled, "Anyway. Why so sad?"

"I just..." I took a bite of my sub; then tried to swallow the hurt along with it, "Hate feeling."

"Feeling what?"

"Love."

"Why."

"Look where it's taking me." I sighed, "I want to love my Mom and Dad; they completely hate each other. I'm head-over-heels for Troy Bolton; he only sees me as a friend."

Kelsi smiled a sad smile; her hands left her sub, and she placed them atop mine, "Shar..."

I sniffed, "No." I whipped a hand out from under hers; hoping I was fast enough to stop silly tears from falling, "I don't want you, or anyone else to pity me, okay?"

"I don't pity you; I feel your sorrow as much as you do." Her eyes watered a bit, "Things will get better, okay?"

I nodded, "Okay."

**..:….:..**

I decided to attend; the theatre at East High was a Proscenium Arch. Which meant pricey tickets and few seats; luckily Kelsi pulled a few strings and hooked me up with a front row seat.

The first act of the play depicted Mother Courage as she went on through the war, selling supplies for the soldiers with her sons: Eilif and Swiss Cheese, and her daughter Kattrin. Kelsi was amazing as a mute. She loses Eilif to the army and its war. They continue on.

During war time, Swiss Cheese was asked by the commanding officer to keep a safe box of money for him. He contemplates giving it back or hiding it. When he runs off with it; he gets caught by opposing soldiers. Mother Courage denies knowing him and they let him go.

Swiss then decides to hide the box in a hole by the river. The opposing soldiers catch him again; Courage tries bartering to save his life. She waits too long, trying to ask for too much; he's shot to death. The soldiers being his body back to Courage, and ask if anyone in her camp could identify his since they were the last ones to see him.

No one gives his name.

Later on, Courage is complaining to a priest who had taken to traveling with her and Kattrin, because of being the opposing religion-Protestant. She began cursing the war for what she's lost.

Intermission.

I grabbed some refreshments, bought a cool button they were selling a charity, and then went back to my seat. The second act resumes after fifteen minutes. Courage ends up falling for the regimen's Cook she was bartering with beforehand in act one. They and Kattrin travel.

Cook bribes Courage with a life at a tavern that was left to him by his family in another town. Courage said she wouldn't leave without Kattrin, since Cook was persisting that there was one person too many. She and Kattrin leave him behind.

Then came Kattrin's death.

The two were staying in a farm outside a town. Soldiers were attacking it; murdering countless. When someone mentioned children weren't being spared; Kattrin sprang into action. When soldiers entered the house, she climbed up on a scaffold and began banging a drum.

The soldiers obviously didn't want to be caught, so they tried bribing her to stop. She only banged harder and started to hysterically scream. The soldiers ended up shooting her.

My eyes watered.

Her death wasn't in vain though, the soldiers were caught. Members of the house Courage was staying at lowered Kattrin off the scaffold. They laid her dead body by Mother Courage; Kattrin's head rested in her lap. Courage began singing her own rendition of "Hush Little Baby, Don't Say a Word".

I felt black tears fall. I completely broke down in tears.

The play ended with Courage watching every character (There were countless others) who died walk across center stage.

She yelled, "Hey! Heeeey! Take me with you." She was left alone.

The lights went out; then resurfaced. We all stood and cheered.

I quickly made my way out into the lobby where Kelsi greeted me.

"Hey Java Lava! What'd you..." Her smile faded, "What's the matter sweetie? I'm not really dead." She laughed a little.

I shook my head; still tearing, "No...it's just. My Mom. I saw her through Courage."

"What do you mean?" She walked me down a side hallway, so no one could bother us.

"Before...this divorce in the air. Before high school and before moving into the apartment downtown." I sighed and softly sang, "Momma's gonna by you a mocking bird...and if that...mo-mo..." I broke again.

I saw Kelsi's eyes look up. I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"You." They sniffed, "Miss your Mom too?"

I turned, and felt all my hatred melt, "Troy..." I held him tight.

"That song...gets around huh?"

I let out a bitter sigh; holding him tighter.

.**.:….:..**

He placed a fresh bouquet of white roses on his mother's grave. When he moved back to where I was standing; he grabbed my hand like I was his lifeline.

"I didn't think it would hurt so much. I'd...remember...so much..."

I felt tears fall again, "What do you remember?"

"I couldn't..."

"Don't let her die, Troy."

He sighed, "Back when I was seven...I remember us. We were all baking for Thanksgiving that year. I was making a salad. Mom was preparing the turkey to be baked and my Dad was preparing the Pillsbury rolls." He laughed sadly and wiped his eyes, "We were...a family."

"I know what you mean." I sighed, wiping my eyes.

"We cry a lot." He said after some silence.

I let out a breathy laugh; he did too. We then started to straight up laugh. A lot.

I breathed and caught myself, "Thank you, Troy."

"For what, Sunshine?"

"For letting me see why; no matter what, I need you in my life."

"You're welcome, Sunshine."

We embraced. I've never felt happier to be wrapped in his arms. I may only be his "light", but that seems to be what he needs most right now.

* * *

><p><strong><em>okay that was it! Yay for happy ends and reunions! And now-the trailer!<em>**

I've been waiting for the best opportunity possible; something that can take me away from the unpredictability of Albuquerque on its Novembers and Decembers. Just to leave me loving something simplicity.

I'm waiting for an Indian summer.

_All she's wanted was to find a reason to get away; if only for a little while_

I sighed heartily, dropping my bags on the dirt ground of a small town in Kansas.

Kelsi, my best friend who goes anywhere with me, lugged herself off the bus behind me, "Great adventure?"

I nodded, "Starts now." We thought a camera pan of the town would follow us-if this were a film.

_Our Sharpay then learns a valuable tidbit of information_

Kelsi tossed on a newspaper on my motel bed, "Look."

I started to read the main article, "Local family loses their youngest son, Nathaniel Bolton. So?"

"Keep reading." Kelsi urged me on.

"The family muse feel devastated, because only three months prior: younger twin Stephanie Bolton had left the family for what she thought would be a better life..." I looked at an accompanying photo, "Whoa..."

Kelsi nodded, "Her eyes are a different color. Her hair's brunette and her nose is a little bit crooked, but-"

"She looks just like me..."

_She hatches a plan_

"I'll just pretend to be Stephanie for the rest of the summer. It'll make them...happy...?"

Kelsi looked at me, then sighed, "Okay...you have a really odd sense of helping people, you know that?"

_Breathe deep..._

I headed to the address that a local, who recognized me as Steph, gave. The house was quaint and it looked like they took care of a farm as well.

The house itself looked particularly empty. I walked up the small stairwell, and looked into the windows that were curtained in handmade lace. I didn't see anyone and decided the idea was off. I left the doorway, and almost left the property completely until hearing:

"Steph?" I turned; seeing a shaggy brunette God with eyes so blue...I felt like I had died and this was God's reward to me, "It's me...Troy. Your twin?"

_Take it all in_

"You're back?" His accent was just southern enough to make you melt along with the rest of him.

_Let yourself experience the events to come from the new path you've decided to take_

"Yeah." I smiled, "For a little while at least."

Indian Summer

**_whatchyu think!_**

**_review!_**


	9. Advice from the Queen Herself

**_Hi, hi! I'm back and am sorry again for the long wait. Things are crazy up in my life, and I haven't been able to write recently. Sorry u.u_**

**_This is a little shorter than usual; sorry again!_**

**_But let me tell you! I completely enjoyed writing every second of this as soon as the idea came. I meshed two of my current obsessions together: Lady Gaga & Anime. Hope you love._**

**_Or die._**

**_:D_**

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><p><strong>Chapter 9: Advice from the Queen Herself<strong>

_I want your lovin; I want your revenge  
>You and me could write a bad romance...<em>

I sat on my window sill; the weather outside was rainy. I was dressed in a white tank top, jean mini skirt, black tights, and lime green leg warmers.

...? What the fuck was I thinking?

_Rah, rah-ah, ah, ah. Roma, roma-ma Gaga-ooo la la. Want your bad romance_

I shook my head, "Ryan! Turn your music down!" I sighed. I kept hearing the thumping music of Gaga's tunes, and decided to just confront him.

When I opened the door to my room, and walked through the space that preceded me. It turned into a large white space; my door disappeared. Lights were artistically lit.

I watched figures move; shadows began dancing. When the lights were full-on, I saw everyone. Ryan, Kelsi, Chad. Jason, Granny, and Try. The leader of the pack? Straight in the middle in a full on red gown?

Gaga herself.

"I want your ugly; I want your disease. I want your everything as long as it's free. I want your love. Love, love, love-I want your love." Gaga started singing. They all doing spastic, odd dance moves; I felt like I was watching a car crash. I couldn't believe it was happening, but I can't tear my eyes away.

"Sharpay." She spoke into the microphone she was supposed to be singing in, "We need to talk." She set down the mic; everyone else was still dancing.

My mouth dropped, "Me...? Me."

Mmmmhmmm." She nodded, and broke from the pack; they froze in time.

When she reached me-the scene changed to a full garden. Almost like it was midsummer in some anime show. All the field's wild flowers painted the grassy hills rainbow colors.

"So. You're in love with a boy?" She waved her hand; a throne-like chair appeared. She sat down.

I noted that I was now in a thin cotton white dress. It bunched around me while I sat down in the grass across from her.

I nodded.

"So then, what's the problem Shar?"

"He's in love with...someone else."

"You know he's just playing a love game with you, right?"

"Okay..this conversation is getting too odd."

"Sharpay." She sighed, then a wise look crossed her features, "There are few relationships like air."

"Like...air? Are you going all artistic on me?"

"I'm an artist. It's what I do." She then paused for a moment, "Most relationships are like fire or water. One heated to the point of destruction; one deluded to the point of corruption. But air si like a mixture of fire and water so they cancel each other out. And that's yours and Troy's relationship."

"Why?"

"Because no matter what...you will always be. Fire dims and dies. Water evaporates. But air never leaves. It's all around you, and ever present. Just like the answers you seek."

"The answers?"

"Yes." She sighed in an understanding way, "I must explain everything, I see. The answers are all around you, like air itself. You just need to find them."

"How?"

She rose. The chair disappeared, "I can't tell you everything." She smiled, and then everything went dark.**.**

When I could see again, I realized I was back in the white space. I walked up to Kelsi, and immediately they all continued to dance. But...Gaga wasn't here. I was in her place.

We started spastically dancing.

_I want your love; I don't wanna be friends..._

I stopped dancing, and walked up to Troy. While everyone kept dancing to the beat, I grabbed his chin and made him look at me.

"I don't want to be friends."

And instead of lighting his corpse on fire...

I kissed him.

**..:….:..**

"AHHH!" I sprang up in my bed.

Kelsi was sitting on the floor by the foot at the bed. I noticed that there was a pillow by me.

"You were singing Lady Gaga in your sleep again." She jumped up and walked a few feet away.

"You were all." She got down on her hands and knees and began doing a slut crawl, "I want your lovin, I want your revenge. You and me could write a baaad romaaance..." She ended with a stripper head roll; accompanying it was an equally stripper-equse look on her face.

I rolled my eyes while she bursted into a fit of giggles; her body spastically moving.

"My ROFLcopter. Crashed."

I tossed the pillow at her face, "Yeah, yeah..."

"So...Lady Gaga?" She sat me next to me on my bed.

"I think she's my inner encouragement."

"You're insane Sharpay."

"I know."

**..:….:..**

"Hey Sunshine. Ry said you were down here..."

I looked up from paint throwing, seeing Troy walk into my storage closet-turned-studio. He smiled as I dipped my hard into a forest green color.

"What are you creating Ms. Van Gough?"

"A masterpiece of sorts." I smiled happily, "This is pre-ear cutting genius."

He smiled, "I see." He pulled a joint out of his pocket.

I looked to him, "No windows."

He nodded, placing it back. He dipped his hand into a baby blue color. When he threw it, it landed by my forest green and they melted down together. The color was ugly.

"Kind of reminds me of us."

"Why's that?" I asked.

He pressed his hand onto my face, "Because. It looks fucking tragic on the outside, but couldn't be a better combination."

_The answers are all around you...you just need to find them..._

"I agree." I smiled, smashing my hand onto his face.

So, we walked back to my apartment together. People we passed looked and wondered, "What are the freaks with the paint on their face?"

I just smiled.

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><p><strong>:D<strong>

**Be kind...**

**Review!**


	10. I Don't Know Who I Am Anymore

**_Hello guys-back again. I wouldn't necessarily say I'm uber proud of this chapter; only because I think it's really confusing. But that's what I was trying to go for. I wanted to pull back into the main plot since there hasn't been much of it going on._**

**_But yea-here's the next installment._**

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><p><strong>Ch. 10: I Don't Know Who I Am Anymore<strong>

I laughed, "I haven't felt this happy in a really long time."

Troy smiled, "You have a handprint on your face."

I looked to him, "Yeah. So do you genius."

"Sunshine."

"Yeah."

"I've been thinking."

"Oh God."

"What?"

"Last time I heard that, Ryan was coming out to me."

"No Sunshine." He smiled,"I think I'm in love."

"With Gra-Gabi?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"Maybe."

**..:….:..**

My breath quickened.

Faster.  
>Faster.<br>Faster.

I practially slammed myself into my locker; I watched my hand violently shake while turning the dial.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, "Java...?"

I turned to look at Kelsi; darkness fell from my eyes.

"Oh my God." She held me close, "What is it?"

I couldn't answer; I was having trouble breathing.

"Kels. What's going on with Sunshine?"

"I have...no idea." I felt Kelsi move and a strong arm around my waist, supporting me from collapsing.

"Every sun has to set at some time." He whispered in my ear, "What's wrong?"

"...Take me away..."

**..:….:..**

"Sunshine, open your eyes." We were in The Field.

Today, I got the mail from the lobby. It's no longer a joke, or a lingering air. Jonathan Evans is filing for divorce from Lynette Evans-Johnson. I kept my mouth closed. I watched the corpse of my mother deafly move around the apartment. She looked as if she were constantly feeling death-wondering when she'll be asked to leave. Ryan wanted to know what was going on. I couldn't tell him. I couldn't fucking do it! I...

I let out my emotions-thrashing and screaming. After a few rounds, I felt strong arms wrap around me.

"Sunshine. Sunshine." He kept repeating my name.

"Why!" I screamed, flinging myself into a a sitting postition.

"Why what?"

"Why am I your sun!"

He didn't answer. I felt tears fall from my eyes. More darkness settled into me;

This night inside seems to be endless.

"Why...?"

"Sunshine..."

"No! No...I can't be that girl anymore."

"Su-"

"Stop!" I looked to him as my darkness continued to fall, "I..I..." My breathing hitched, "Everything I know is dying..."

"Sunshine..." He immediately wrapped his arms around me.

"I love you Troy."

"...What."

I broke from his hold, "Take with it what you want. I can't hold it in anymore."

"Sunshine."

I placed my hands on his arms, and took a breath, "My Dad's divorcing my Mom."

"I'm so sorry." He held me close, "But..."

I broke the hold again, "I know you're with Gabriella, but...you needed to know."

"Okay."

I sighed, wiping my eyes, "I'm going to go."

He nodded, "Sunshine?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for trusting me."

I nodded, and left.

**..:….:..**

"Shar." I heard a knock at my door; I sat up in bed.

"Come in." I said in a cracked tone.

Ryan walked in,"...Mom and Dad."

I nodded.

"You knew?"

I nodded again.

He sighed, and sat on the other side of my bed, "When did things get so..."

"Fucked up?" I added, he nodded, "Well. I'm not too sure."

"Shar..." I looked to see Ryan's eyes water, "I don't want them to say goodbye."

I hiccupped, feeling my mouth quiver, "I...don't want them to either." We hugged. I haven't felt this close to Ryan in a long time.

I sniffed; he did too. My mouth pouted while he hugged me again.

"What's going to happen?"

I shrugged, "I don't know really."

He sighed; we both laid down.

"Do you know why?"

I shook my head, "All I saw were the papers Dad asked for from his lawyers."

He sighed, "I feel dead Shar."

I nodded, "I know what you mean."

**..:….:..**

"Hey Sunshine." Tory met my at my locker the next day, "How are you?"

I shrugged, "I'm not too sure. You know, you don't have to take this on. I mean, with your Mom and all."

He shrugged, "Friends do that." His eyes wandered around the hall; I couldn't necessarily look at him either.

"...About yesterday."

I looked at him, "Just forget that. Sorry I went all soap opera on you."

"But-"

"No it's fine, really."

He shrugged, "Okay."

I sighed, my eyes looking down the hall.

"I...I'm too confused right now."

"For what?"

"For a relationship."

"What...? You're with Gabi, aren't you?"

He nodded.

"But...?"

"I think I like you too."

"But?"

"But I'm not sure I can say goodbye to Gabi. I really like her too."

"...Why? She's an eighty year old trapped in a seventeen year old. She's such a lollypop, I just-"

"You should get to know her. She's human too, you know."

"Positive?"

"Sunshine."

I sighed, "Look forget it. I don't want to be the almost-other-woman." I shrugged, "Figure it out."

He shrugged, "Yeah..."

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><p><strong><em>I think I want to show her world slowly crack, so I hope this wasn't too over the top or anything.<em>**

**_review._**


	11. Did the Captain of the Titanic Cry?

**_ugh-transitioning chapters SUCK. I wanted to go into fun, light hearted comedy via Kelsi, but you can't really do that right after an EXPLOSION chapter._**

**_But anyway:  
>The award for MOST EPIC CHAPTER REVIEW EVER! goes to: xHeSaidSheSaidx-she left me the biggest review for ch. 9 of this story. OH. . I died when I saw it; then resurrected myself. So, that goes to you dear :D<em>**

**_Also: This has happened with wishfulxthings most times, but when you review-would you mind adding your fave line from the current chapter? It's okay of you dont/there isn't one, but I thought that was really cool. That's wishfulxthinking. ;D_**

**_Also ALSO: If you didn't already know; Indian Summer is offically OUT. If you want a more lighthearted frothy version of me, but still all the comedy-it's perfect for youuuuuuuuu! I'm planning on working on chapter 3 after I finish reading a play for Theatre Class._**

**_Also Also ALSO: I got a fucking B on my speech on comedy. FUCKING FUCKER FUCK FUCK FUCK! I worked soooo hard on that...sorry, needed some ventage! :DDDDDD_**

**_But yeah. Read on freakfaces! I heart all of you for reviewing and sticking with this hot mess!_**

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><p><strong>Ch. 11: Did the Captain of the Titanic Cry?<strong>

I laid on the "wrong" side of my bed; the pillows occupied by my feet, "Makes you wonder if they even cared about us..."

"Java Lava, you're like a constant downer, huh?"

I laughed sadly, "Yeah..." I wiped my eyes.

"But they have to care about you, ya know?"

"And why do you think that?"

She shrugged, "Because, they wouldn't have bothered with the sex and child birthing."

I smiled slightly, "Yeah, maybe."

Kelsi sighed, "I think we should leave."

"Why?"

"Too many negative vibes in the apartment." She dramatically shook, "Messin' with my flow."

I smiled, "Okay. Grab your coat; I'll get my keys and Ryan."

**..:….:..**

"Why are we driving around exactly?" Ryan asked.

I shrugged, "Kelsi said the vibes in the apartment were negative, then shook violently."

"Well of course they're negative..." Ryan slumped in his seat.

"Hey." Kelsi called from the back, "It's their decision. It's probably better to end it if they don't feel it anymore."

Ryan sighed, "I don't want you to be right Kels."

"Sorry."

"Where should we go?" I changed the subject.

"Let's go to The Field!" Kelsi sounded excited.

"I don't want to go there Kels."

"Yeah me either." Ryan shook his head.

"Why not!" Kelsi said,"Troy's probably theeere!"

"I don't really want to see him."

Ryan and Kelsi were dumbstruck.

"I told him I loved him."

"WHAT!" If this were an anime-they would've fallen on their faces to the bottom of the car.

"...Yeah. He whisked me away, and I tell him I love him."

"And?" Ryan asked.

"...What." I sighed, remembering, "Life is not going my way recently."

"Something's going to happen to you two one day." Kelsi smiled, "I feel it in my bones."

"You're like Oprah?" Ryan asked.

I thwacked him, "Be nice."

**..:….:..**

Against my wishes, we did end up driving to The Field. Thankfully, no one was there so I was safe. For now. Troy always seems to show up no matter how I feel about him. I feel cheated; I'll honestly say it. Call me crazy, but if Granny Smith didn't show up I would be in his pot stenched arms right now. And I wouldn't even give a fuck that he reeked, because I know somewhere, deep down, he wants that too. I'm just so-

I don't know. I DONT KNOW. He makes me so angry! But he smiled, and hold me...and...I just die. I realize that at that moment, I could die and my life would be would be up in the Cosmos. Knowing that the last tihng I touched was him...

I just want to hear him. Just call my name Troy; you always do. Call my name, and tell me-

"Sunshine."

I sprang up, meeping a little. Ryan and Kelsi were hanging around the actual cemetery. I clunked myself down in the spot where I broke down yesterday.

"Troy."

He sat down across from me; an extremely awkward silence fell out of the two of us.

He smiled slightly, "What are you doing on Turkey Day?"

I shrugged, "Probably sitting down to an icy dinner with undercooked food. My Mom's turned into a shitwrecked cook."

"Do you, Ryan and Chad, and Kelsi want to join Gabi and me?'

I tried really hard not to visibly or vocally say 'Fuck',"...Sounds better than home."

"We can make salad and everything." He smiled.

"Okay."

**..:….:..**

"You're not joining us for Thanksgiving dinner."

Ryan and I both shook our heads.

Mom sighed a little, "Well alright. I'll cook for two, or maybe throw a party." She walked down the hall, and into the kitchen. Ryan and I fell onto the sitting room's couch. The two of us let out a long held-in breath.

"How mad do you think she is?"

I shrugged, "Since she's become a zombie, it's sort of hard to tell if she's feeling anything at all."

Ryan nodded, "I have a date with Chad tonight."

I shoved my hand in his face, "Shut up...!"

He licked my hand, "Ewww!" I shook the saliva off my hand.

Ryan laughed, "Jealous?"

"Of your tongue?" I shivered, "No. Of your boyfriend? Yes."

"You had a crush on Chad?"

"No. Stupid! I mean have one...in general."

"Was there anything besides '...What.'?"

"Well in school the next day, he told me he doesn't want a relationship. 'At the moment'."

"That makes no sense. Why is he with Gabi then?"

"Ask him yourself."

**..:….:..**

The leaves are falling. Well actually, they've been falling, and changing, and becoming, and growing. Is it possible to feel like you, yourself have stopped?

You know...growing, changing, and becoming. Simplicity was never an option for our family. My father has been a slimy stockbroker since...I don't know. We have a penthouse apartment, and loads of valuable items rich snobs would drool over.

I try to remember times that the four of us smiled. I think Ry and I were seven; Dad was a simple car salesman, and Mom remembered where and what we were doing each day. We actually lived in a small home in the burbs, and I wish I could go back there. I remember the most there; everything we did was done as a family. And now look at us.

The remnants of two parents who might've been in love, and their twin siblings fighting and praying that this is all a nightmare. That we'll wake up, be seven again, and smell Mom's fresh pancakes from the kitchen downstairs.

I feel as though everything is falling, and regardless of what I do it'll keep on falling. Down, down, down into an abyss I don't want to look into.

I'm afraid. And I can't believe it. I, Sharpay Angelina Evans, the girl that everyone looks at. The girl that some hate, and some love...

This girl is so scared. For herself, for her family, and for her life. My family...and Troy holds my heart in their hands. And I'm terrified.

I wiped a few clear tears from my eyes, and stopped staring out the window. Thanksgiving is three days away; I can't even think about it.

I don't want to think about it.  
>I'm going to die on the 26th.<p>

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><p><strong><em>this is the next installment. I considered making Troypay's first kiss in the only scene Troy's in this chapter. But I decided against it; I think their first kiss should be a lot later.<br>Review. :D_**


	12. Picked All My Wheat

**_Hello my lovelies! I wanted to release this at midnight. But-I decided NOW was way better. I worked extensively on this hot mess, and frankly I am damn proud of this next chapter. :D I'm so happy, like eeee! Happy. _**

**_Regarding the kiss ordeal: YOU ALL ARE SLUTS! (Don't deny it ;D) I'm sort of channeling classic authors like Jane Austen & Charlotte Bronte. Where the kiss meant everything: the passion, the devotion, and the knowledge that you'll know those characters are together forever._**

**_But yeah. Here it is._**

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><p><strong>Ch. 12: Picked All My Wheat<strong>

"SHARPAY! Look out for the Blehblehbleh!"

Ry and I turned back, giving Kels a crazed stare.

"Did someone release you onto the internet again?"

…

"…Yes."

Ryan laughed, "Oh sweetie…"

I clutched the tin that held Ry and mine's cherry pie. I know he said not to bring anything, but…Ry's the Homo Martha Stuart. And…I need something to get me through this fucking hell.

I let out a deep, cleansing breath before knocking on the door.

Chad answered, "Oh God you're finally here!" He held Ryan, "Oh…hey you two."

Kelsi gave him a deadpan stare, "Love you too Chadsie."

He stuck out his tongue, "You know me." Chad led us inside, and then dragged Ry off into a secluded corner. Smacking noises could be heard-are all men equivalent to horny dogs? Kels and I walked into the kitchen; Troy was at the oven. Granny Smith in the fridge.

"Sunshine." He saw my reflection through the microwave door on the counter above, "Thanks for coming."

"Yeah well. Good will and all that…" I smiled, a bit tense. I set the pie on the breakfast bar.

Granny giggled, "I think you're thinking of Christmas." She smiled while closing the fridge; butter and milk were in her hands.

I smiled: tense again, "Must be." My eyes diverted to a knife block on the counter the bar was jetting out from. If I could just casually inch over to it…

Kelsi obnoxiously cleared her throat; damn you for being such a good brain twin!

"Sharpay, could you help me?" Granny already had the milk in a liquid measuring cup, "The butter's already in, and my Mom told me that the best way to make her mashed potatoes is if you pour the milk in while mashing." The nerves were in her smile; she looked as though she'd just asked Satan for a favor.

"Sure…" Troy gave me a look that I couldn't refuse. _She's trying, _his eyes seemed to speak. I get that some friends want their friends to gel with whoever they're dating. But seriously? Troy, I don't understand.

Granny smiled; I poured while she mashed. I watched her profile out of the corner of my eye. She seemed so…confident. So passionate…so…everything I wish I was at this point. Everything is sewn and complete for her. My own threads unraveling and falling apart.

"Shar…?"  
>"Sunshine?"<p>

I looked down; my legs were spotted with milk, and the measuring cup in pieces on the floor.

"Are you okay?" Granny looked to me, "I didn't bump you, or anything while I was mashing? I get really into things sometimes, and-"

"No." I shakily sighed, "You did nothing wrong. I just…wasn't paying attention. I need some air." I crossed over to the back door exiting quickly.

**..:….:..**

"Shar, Shar! Shar!"

"What!" I whipped around, Kelsi had been tracking me. We were in his backyard away from any windows. My eyes were already a mix of red and black.

"What happened?"

"I-I get it."

"…Get what?"

"Why he's with her." I sighed, "He needs stability. He needs someone to be a living example; someone who shows him things'll be okay. Someone who lives day-by-day in a constant light…of love. And acceptance regardless."

"You got all that be looking at the side of her face?"

"Her eyes Kels!" I pointed to mine for emphasis, "They say everything…I can't give that."

"What?"

"What Troy needs. I can't give him that. I am a fucked up mess! And I know I won't be mended soon…he needs her."

Kelsi hugged my tight; I cried into her shoulder.

**..:….:..**

Kelsi kept Troy and Granny distracted while I snuck off to the bathroom. I wiped my eyes on toilet paper, and caught a glimpse of me.

Bloodshot eyes; shaken soul.  
>Sloppy hair; beating brain.<br>Shaky hands; shaken heart.

I heard the knob jiggle and the door opened. I looked to Troy through the mirror. He closed the door, and held me close.

"What is it?"

"It's nothing."

"Crying eyes don't mean 'nothing'. Talk to me."

I shook my head, "I'm not the one you should be holding, okay?"

"But I want to."

I let him.

**..:….:..**

Dinner was set. Granny, Kelsi, Ry, and Chad were responsible for the fashionable set up. While I was crying with Troy in the bathroom, they set it up.

The meal was actually amazing-even the mashed potatoes. And as I looked around the table of all my friend's and acquaintance's faces; I realized that, although fucked, it's the best family I've had in a long time.

**..:….:..**

"Bye." I smiled: hugging Troy, and politely waving to Granny. I headed back to my car.

Ry sighed, "Thanksgiving is my new favorite holiday."

Kelsi giggled, "That pie was amazing!"

"I know." Ry smiled.

"What do you think Mom's doing at home?"

Ry shrugged, "Being her ever avoidance self."

Kelsi nodded, "She does know how to avoid."

We entered the apartment.

It was dim; never a good sign when the lights are off. I walked down to the kitchen, spotting a slouched body in Dad's seat.

"Dad?"

"He's at his office party for Thanksgiving…"

I walked into the kitchen. Candles were lit, and set I their holders. A decked out multi-course meal was set on the long table.

"Umm…"

My mother shook her head, wiping away forgotten tears, "I…haven't felt this fallen since…a very long time."

I sat in my chair-frozen in time.

"He promised me. Tonight he'd break away from his busy schedule, and have a nice romantic dinner…"

"Mom…"

"But where is he!" She slammed her hands down on the table. Various goblets and silverware clinked and clanked.

"I don't…"

"I just want him to say: I love you…" She began to weep; lowering her head onto the table. Ryan and Kelsi stood in the awning to the kitchen.

I wanted to say that she deserved iy. That she was a shallow, vapid nothing. And that I don't care about her.

I walked up to her, and placed my hand on her shoulder, "I love you Mommy…"

She looked up, and smiled.

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><p><strong><em>This is it.<br>A jillion kudos to the person who can tell me where Kelsi's opening line is from._**

**_Be kind  
>Review!<em>**


	13. Thirteen Black

**_A jillion kudos goes to: DanceDORK for guessing Kelsi's opening line from the last chapter correctly! Yay! -confetti-_**

**_WHOA I effed up on Mrs. Bolton's age. She would've been like 14 when having Troy. O.O I really need to check up on those things...make sure there-um-accurate. :P_**

**_Wow. I let out a lot of pent up emotion in this chapter-this is definitely not my original plan for this chapter, but I definitely love the outcome. I figured it was time for Troy to have an official breakdown. I hope it's not overdone or anything._**

**_Enjoy._**

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><p><strong>Ch. 13: Thirteen Black<strong>

The rest of Thanksgiving was a bittersweet awkward. The dinner was nice; Kelsi stayed over so she filled in for my Dad. She had all of us laughing so hard-almost forgetting.

Dad never came back in. Mom was struck with such a demeanor, I started to cry. I'm beginning to understand her a little more each day. But I still don't understand her whole picture. Something's will always remain in mystery.

I threw on a Guess dress and Dolce Vita over the knee, tan suede boots. I covered the dress with my knee length, white Prada pea coat. I feel so foreign in theses stitches; I...

I sighed, "I'm going out!" I grabbed my black Prada bag, and left the apartment before waiting for a reply.

I picked the wrong boots to walk in; the heel isn't horrible, but I'm too exhausted to hold myself up. I hope a Starbuck's is nearby...

My mother kept me up all night. She crept into my room, woke Kelsi and I up, and said that she wanted to talk. We talked about a lot of subjects, but the main one was obviously Dad. Dad and his repercussions. Dad and his hesitance. Dad and his "needs". A lot of Dads.

I never really knew Dad fully; back when Ry and I were younger was when he was a forefront parent. He'd come home at five P.M., and then we'd all sit down for dinner. We'd talk about our day, and then we'd all sit down and...watch a move, play a board game. Have some sort of family bonding time.

I remember when my Dad and Ry and me-we would play seven card stud. Stud? Right word? I don't know. But we'd always bet with cookies. It went: Chips Ahoy!, Oreo, Nilla Wafers, and the amazing bakery cookies from Jewel as the highest. Ry was always the best; he somehow managed to get a run or higher in five turns. I always yelled "Cheater!", but knew that he was somehow that lucky.

I wondered what happened to those Saturdays. First: Dad said he worked late, and he couldn't stop at the store to restock the cookies. Second: He was too tired. Third: He was too busy-working on getting promoted, or trying to find a new job after the dealership fell under. Fourth: He forgot altogether.

**..:….:..**

I shook my hair out a little, wondering if that'll be a metaphor for that memory to leave my thoughts, and finally found a Starbuck's. Sweet relief for my feet, and my feelings. I entered, thankfully smiled that I missed the morning rush, and walked up to the counter.

"Hi. I'll have a venti Caramel Brulee Latte."

"That sounds like something you'd order."

I looked at the cashier oddly, and after realizing it didn't come out of her mouth, I moved to the bar where you pick up your drinks.

"Troy! You work here?"

"Don't I seem like the perfect brooding barista, Sunshine?"

I sighed, and shook my head. This could only be the Cosmos. Every time I reflect on something negative, Troy swoops in out of nowhere to make it...slightly less negative.

"I'll make this for you, then join you since I'll have my break then." Troy grinned, and went to work.

I started to think back to earlier times, and I began to wonder when...or what it was that specifically changed for my Dad. Were the three of us not enough, or move than he could handle so he should work more?

"Your Caramel Brulee." Troy smiled; I took the cup. Our fingers brushed.

I let out an embarrassed breath, paid for my drink, and sat in a cozy corner booth past the counter. It sounded like Troy made his own drink before joining me.

"So. What brings you to humble Starbuck's?"

I shrugged while sipping, "I've become my Mother's therapist since Thanksgiving."

He nodded, "Thrilling?"

I shrugged again, "Is listening to the two people who you thought equaled the epitomy of love supposed to be?"

"I don't know."

I frowned, "I'm sorry...I...sometimes forget about your Mom."

He shrugged, "It's done." He shakily sipped his drink.

I caught his eyes; they were shaking. I placed my hand on his free one.

"What is it?"

He shook his head.

"Tell me?"

"She...would've been thirty-one today."

I moved to the chair next to his. I held him close as he tried to cover up his sobs on my shoulder.

"Thirty-one..."

I teared up,"I'm sorry."

He held me tighter. It felt like a hour passed before I spoke again.

"...What was it?"

He sniffed, raising his head, and resting his cheek on my shoulder. He talked to my neck.

"Lukemia." He moved, and looked at me-straight in the eyes,"I...have lukemia."

"T-Troy..." He broke away, and left.

I stupidly gripped my drink, and realized that no matter how hard I run, I could never catch up to him. While walking back to my apartment in a daze, my cellphone went off.

"Hello?"  
>"Hey babycakes; it's Kels. Why so shaky in the vocal bakie?"<br>"Kel...it's...Troy."  
>"What about him?"<br>"He has lukemia."  
>"Wait. What!"<br>"Lukemia!" I hung up, and threw my phone back into my bag in a fit of rage.

My latte top popped; I felt the lukewarm liquid seep through my fingers.

**..:….:..**

"I-I don't know." I was pacing in a frenzy.

Kelsi was on my bed, "What did he tell you exactly?"

"I asked what killed his Mom. He said lukemia, then said he had leukemia. Kelsi!" I started to cry.

"Sweetie." She got up, and hugged me, "It'll be okay."

"No, it won't be. It never will. He could...he could..." I couldn't say it. I didn't want to picture him joining his Mom, "Can't...loving him just be enough?"

"I don't know." Kelsi sighed. My bag vibrated. I broke the hug, and grabbed my phone. There was a text message.

"I have to go." I grabbed my bag and coat.

"Okay...?"

_To: Sharpay Evans  
>From: Troy Bolton<em>

_I need you_

**..:….:..**

I parked my car in the Bolton's driveway. The door was unlocked; I walked in. The first thing I heard was sobbing coming from the kitchen.

"Troy? Troy!"

He looked to me, his eyes...completely drenched, "I...I don't..."

I walked closer; he held his hands out in a warning.

"No don't!"

"Troy." I looked at the knife he was cutting a loaf of bread with. Soaked, "What...happened?"

"I was cutting bread...and..." He showed me the underside of his left arm. A pretty large, deep cut lined it.

"We have to stop the bleeding..."

"No! You can't!"

"Why!"

"Because." He began to tear again, "What if...you catch it! I couldn't live with myself..."

"Troy."I sighed, "I don't care if there is even a slightest chance that I'll catch your leukemia. You need to stop bleeding."

"Why...? Wouldn't it be easier?"

"No! God no!"

"Why?"

"Because! If you die...I...I need you Troy! I need you so much, okay! Wrap a towel around the cut!"

He did as told, and I looked into his eyes. He's so...scared.

"Don't be afraid."

"...Why?"

I sniffed, "Your Sunshine isn't going anywhere. I'll never abandon you." He held me close.

And we stood in his kitchen-holding each other and crying.

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><p><strong><em>whoooooo I needed that off my chest I hope this wasn't overdone in any wayshape/form. Sorry if it was._**

**_Review._**


	14. As Ribbons Fall Away

**_So, I guess I'm really good at capturing dramatic scenes, but not it being too overdone. Or you guys are just way too nice to me. ;D_**

**_But yeah-I need there to be more drama._**

**_And: TROY WILL NOT DIE IN THE COURSE OF THIS FANFICTION! All ya'll can take a deep, cleansing breath. I've heard from reviews that some people are heartless enough to do that. I could never do that. He'll die EVENTUALLY, but I don't really plan on writing a sequel. I wouldn't pull a Nicolas Sparks on you-"That summer was the best we shared..." -then Mandy Moore dies- I'm not that cruel._**

**_For this chapter; I questioned. I questioned life and death. What it means to love from the sidelines, and how it's possible for someone to breath but hate every breath. I definitely did some digging-even if it doesn't seem like it. I'm using myself to create Shar's realistic agony. Enjoy it._**

**_Now I'm tangenting! Yay for stalling. But yeah-here's the next installment_****.**

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><p><strong>Ch. 14: As Ribbons Fall Away<strong>

After the initial "You're bleeding!" past the hug, I immediately called 911. Troy was rushed to the ICU; he apparently lost a lot of blood along the way. I hadn't noticed. His eyes were on mine the whole way-he never looked so scared before...

"Sweetie." I moved my tired eyes as the plastic of the waiting room chairs shook my bones. Kelsi sat down next to me, "How is he?"

My mouth quivered before my shoulders quickly rose and fell, "I-I don't know Kelsi..."

She wrapped her arms around me, "Talk to me Shar."

"I can't." I laid my forehead against her shoulder; I watched dark colored tears splash on the leg of her jeans.

"You have to Shar."

"Why." I scratched through clenched teeth.

"Because it's never okay to walk into something alone."

"He has leukemia Kelsi." I raised my gaze to meet hers, "Leukemia..." I could barely whisper it. It hurts me more than I thought it ever could.

"I know you love him, but-"

"It's not just that Kelsi." I shook my head, "It's more than that...I'm bound to him. Forever. It's more than mere feelings...it's like-"

"You share a soul?"

"Uh-huh." I nodded; she hugged me again.

"I'll make room to share."

"You're amazing Kels."

"Without you, I wouldn't be."

**..:….:..**

After Troy was doing a bit better, we notified Granny of what was going on. Troy has been in the hospital for the past couple of days; she hasn't left his side.

I never thought I'd feel so...far. I felt a piece of me break when Troy told me...if he dies I...I bit my lip, and pulled my covers closer to my eyes. He-he can't..he wouldn't...

"Shar I-Sharpay!" I heard Ryan's voice and his form drop onto my bed.

I was shaking so much faster, and more violent than any other time, "He's dying..." I whispered out.

"Shar, he's-he's fine."

"No! No...he's dying right now."

Ryan's thoughts clicked; he held me closer, and tried to help me calm.

**..:….:..**

Death.  
>A five letter word I never realized was going on every second around me. Melodramatic? Sorry. But there's some truth. Take for instance: My Mom and Dad. Their love has died, and now they're committing first degree murder on our family. Today was the official sit down, what goes to who.<p>

My father obviously demanded the most: the penthouse apartment, their two cars, and everything else that isn't Ryan's or mine. Her? Us. "If she wanted them" were his words. I never felt so foreign in my own skin. I started wondering if Ry and I were just living blemishes he hates being connected to.

But, surprise surprise, Mom didn't respond. So now, I'm wondering if it's Ry and I that drove them apart? Then...

DON'T FUCK WITHOUT A DAMN CONDOM!

Then there's Troy.  
>The sun; the knowledge of Ghandi, and the most beautiful martyr I've ever met. I just wish I could kiss him without it being a consequence. As if most of the girls at school don't already have me labeled as a 'Slut'.<p>

I want to kiss him; to let it tell him how I understand a little more now. How he wants to live even though he's dying little by little. He wants to see others live.  
>He wants' to see me...live.<p>

Death. A five letter word.  
>Life has four letters in it. What is the difference between that one letter?<p>

**..:….:..**

Today I watched the first snowfall from the windows in Chem class. I hate being everywhere Troy and I have been. Especially here where it all started.

"But don't fret kiddies-even if you mix the wrong chemicals...nothing too bad can happen. ...Much."

"Slut."  
>"Slut."<br>"Slut."  
>"Slut."<p>

I looekd back to the partners of Taylor McKessie and some other nameless face. They loved bouncing slut back and forth as if they were thinking it was taunting me.

Taylor gave me a challenging look, "Stay away from my best friend's man."

I rose my eyebrow, pretending to care, "And if I don't?"

"I'll crush you." She looked to her nameless friend. They shared victory smiles.

I let out a deadpan breath of laughter. I picked up my yet-to-be mixed chemicals, and looked like I was at work. In a few seconds short, I turned as if to ask them a question.

"W-Whoa!" I used my expertise in stage falling to plan my comeback. The chemicals splashed onto Taylor.

She let out a shriek of terror, "MRS. TURNER!"

"I-I wanted to ask them a question..." I felt the fake tears forming in my throat, "I was confused...but I tripped on my bag." Thankfully it was poking out enough to serve as the culprit, "I-I'm so sorry Ms. Turner." The tears fell.

"Oh." She smiled in understanding, "It's alright dear. Accidents happen. Come McKesse, time for a nice shower." She led her over to the chemical shower.

While she passed, I threw her victory smiled back at her.

I sat back at my table; the bitterness sweeping in again.

**..:….:..**

I was sitting in the waiting room hospital; apparently the person who ultimately saves a person from death isn't considered immediate.

"Hey."

Ugh, the last person I wanted to hear from. Granny Smith spotted me from down the hall, and greeted me.

"What Montez."

"How are you?" She shrugged nervously, her bleached teeth clenched into an equally nervous smile, "I haven't seen you since Thanksgiving."

"I'm fine." I shrugged, raising and dropping my hands. They slapped on my 7 jean covered thighs, "What do you want."

"I got a call from Taylor about the accident in your AP Chem class-"

"God are you her fucking mother or something?"

"No, I'm her friend. Why did you dump possibly toxic chemicals all over my friend?"

"Cause she had it coming to her."

"How could something like that constitute as just Sharpay! You guys were mixing hydrogen and sulfide; if those chemicals reached steam, she could've died."

"Look, I'm sorry I almost killed your friend." I shook my head, "Excuse me for being twisted, but your "friends" throw around the word slut whenever we're in the same general area."

"Excuse me?"

"You and your fucking groupies have labeled me as a slut fucking whore Gabriella." I threw out her name like her fake face.

"That's not-"

"Let me make this clear. I never once made an advance on your boyfriend in a sexual manor. I told him something confidential that was meant to be between him and me."

"O-Okay..."

"And one more thing? Let's not play this 'friend' game. I don't like you; I don't think I'll ever like you." I stood up, and walked down the hallway, "Can he see other people now?"

"Y-Yeah..."

**..:….:..**

"Hey."

"You enjoy making my girlfriend cry?"

"She's that loud." I sighed, moving over to a vacant chair by his bed, I'm sorry, but...things went down."

"Like?"

"Taylor, and her croonies just...breaking me..." I sighed curtly, wiping away tears I didn't want to fall.

"Hey...that really doesn't give you the right to kill Taylor. And you know Gabriella had little to do with it."

"Why because she's some saint in your eyes?" I looked in his eyes, "Are you...abandoning me?"

"No. I'm letting you see that Gabi's not entirely wrong."

I stood up, and left.

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><p><strong><em>Alright. That's all for now.<em>**

**_Review.  
>:D<em>**


	15. Journal Entries for Shar

**_So. I can't really think of what to do with this story until Christmas. But! I didn't want to leave all of you hanging in the distance. So! This chapter was somehow birthed._**

**_So yeah-I have a Christmas chapter left, maybe a New Year's one, and...then maybe two more after that. Then...that'll be it! So this story will most likely be done sometime next January. =[ I know-mondo suckage, but everything ends. And this will soon. Cherish it while it lasts, and maybe lap onto something newer I'm working on?_**

**_This chapter basically chronicles Sharpay's thoughts the week before Christmas via her journal. I wrote jounral snipits for Indian Summer, and that made me really want to create a whole chapter of jounraling. It's like...offical-er drabbling. =]_**

**_So yeah. Onto the chapter_****.**

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><p><strong>Ch. 15: Journal Entries for Shar<strong>

December 14, 2007

My heart stopped as soon as I left the hospital. I can't do this; I can't handle being that girl. I didn't mean to snap at her...

Oh fuck; yes I did. I wanted to yell at her. To scream, and bitch that someone like her wasn't enough for someone like Troy. And yet, he defends her. Not me.

I know what the two of them meant: 'Don't be a murderer!' But is it a bad thing that I only feel the need to kill? I want everything to die, then I'll replant the seeds the way I want to.

Me.  
>Me.<br>Me.

Ry's out with Chad and Kels is busy working on her next piano masterpiece. I feel so alone. I hate it. I hate feeling alone, but I want the two of them to feel happy. I don't want them to carry any more pain than they already are. I hate burdening people.

My thoughts are betraying me. They keep telling me, 'Just forgive him Sharpay! You need him!'

Is that bad? To know that you can't live without someone? You care about them so much; you feel your heart break the same exact moment theirs does.

I know I did it. I murdered the one person I never thought possible.

That day, in the hospital, I broke Troy's heart.

December 15, 2007

I felt the chill today. When I walked down the halls of East High, every single pair of eyes fell on me. Judging me-making me feel lower than...low.

When I got to my locker, I saw the pink and red lipstains:

Slut.  
>Slut.<br>Slut.  
>Slut.<p>

It was in that Taylor-bitch handwriting. I think she's a lesbian; I mean think about it.

1. She's overprotective of Granny  
>2. She freaks out when Granny isn't happy<br>3. She's probably waiting for them to break up  
>4. So, she can have Granny to herself<p>

The worst stare was Troy's. He was allowed to come back to school today. His eyes reflected shame a disappointment the moment they met mine. So...I guess I was right with the heartbreaking.

I honestly don't know how I survived that day. I wish I were...not here.

December 16, 2007

Today my Mother cracked.

Not like she doesn't all the time, but this time she...She basically tried to take her own life.

I guess that she's either really stupid, or really wishes this didn't happen to her and Dad. I know that sounds uber melodramatic, but...drama's my family's surname. But when you think about it; she's not all that wrong. She fell in love with Dad, and then he fell out. She was still in, and she feels that the only way out is to go Mary Alice on us all. I let her watch way too much Desperate Housewives.

Ryan has been avoiding home more and more since Mom's failed attempt. He keeps telling me that he can't look into the living room the same way. I get that he's hurt and all, but it's not like he didn't accidently walk into the scene with his best friend.

Kelsi and I found my Mom ready to fire as soon as we entered the apartment after school. My first reaction was to vomit, but Kelsi actually pushed passed me, and knocked the gun out of her hands. Is there anything she can't do? My mother just started at us; she let off vibes (according to Kelsi) that she didn't want us to stop her. She was angry that we even thought she deserved to live after 3:30 PM. Now, she just holes herself in her room. Dad hasn't been in that room or the apartment since before Thanksgiving.

Both of them are trying to forget this family: Dad's doing it physically, Mom's doing it every other way. I tried asking her for help in kitchen tonight. I was trying to make dinner for the two of us; Ryan said he'd be staying at the Danforth's. I hate him for abandoning Mom and me. Like father, like son I guess.

Anyway, I asked Mom for some help, and she gave me this odd smile.  
>I ordered take-out.<p>

After school today, Troy approached me:

"Hey."  
>"Hi."<p>

He had a strained look on his face, "Well...I think we shouldn't talk for a little while."

"Is this about the hospital thing?"

He shrugged, "A little. I don't know if I want to be friends with someone so...malicious."

"I freaked out!" I was practically yelling, "So now you think you can't handle it?"

"Look it's...it's complicated."

"No it's...simple." I looked to him, "You hate me."

He pursed his lips, and clenched his hands into fists.

"Fine." I pushed past him, and headed down the hall, "Hate me!"

I hate myself just as much. I regret ever going to the hospital that day. I just need a ticket out of here.

Take me somewhere far away...maybe change my hair, and look. And forget. Forget Troy, Mom, Dad, Ryan, Kelsi...everyone.

December 17, 2007

It's a week before Christmas. How the hell can we have a normal Christmas now? I think I just want to curl up in a ball, and die.

Ryan finally came back home. Since I shot eye daggers at him when we first walked in, we haven't spoken to each other. Kelsi has been trying to call me; I've been avoiding her. I'm seriously considering leaving; I know that Mom and Dad have relatives in Los Angeles. It's what I'm shooting for.

I don't want to think anymore. Is it possible to just be? To...exist? I don't want to live with all this baggage anymore. Maybe I'm being selfish. But everyone else has been. Mom, Dad, Ryan, ...Troy. I deserve a turn. I'm so tired of carrying all of this alone. I don't want to. I can't anymore. I can't be the girl everyone drops everything on, and expect her to turn it into some kind of pearl.

I miss Troy as much as I hate him right now. I wonder what words, or what he'd say to help me back up. That's what I miss the most: him and me, up against the planet. What would he say if he had the chance to say anything at all?

What Troy?

_I don't hate you,  
>Come home, Sunshine<em>

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><p><strong><em>Review!<br>Sorry if some things were out of place at all-but I was sort of thinking like how someone would journal: whatever comes first is written.  
>=D<em>**

**_=DDDDD_**


	16. A Very Merry UnChristmas to You

**_MERRY CHRISTMAS BITCHES!  
>I have an amazing present for you;<br>THIS!_**

**_I worked really hard on it for the past three days. I originally planned for Shar to have a crazy breakdown at the end, but I'm in too festive of a mood to write it. =DD I like how I ended this chapter anyway. I was also planning to release I Saw Sharpay Kissing Santa Clause, but I think I might either release it tomorrow. Or next year. I back burned it for too long thanks to this chapter._**

**_So yeah-Read. Love. Christmas._**

**_Look out for a new story coming tomorrow._**

**_Also!: The dress/hairdo that Sharpay will be having for her party will be posted on my profile under Extra Goodies._**

**_=D_**

* * *

><p><strong>Ch. 16: A Very Merry UnChristmas to You<strong>

I closed the drape of my window; I was tired of staring outside. I was tired of hoping for stupid little things that could never happen. Dad has finally decided to come back home, and somehow charm his way back into Mom's life.

Which is how I got stuck wearing a very forest colored Calvin Klein dress, and Mom's cooking in the kitchen again. We're throwing a huge gala-glamorous ball-qeuse party. Everyone who's Anyone will be here-blahblahblah. All I wanted this year was hot coca, a tree, and exchanging gifts. Now, I look like the Christmas tree I wanted.

Well, now that Troy and I haven't spoken two words to each other, Kelsi's mad I haven't called her, and Ryan's falling more and more into Chad's arms-I feel alone. I wouldn't be surprised if this lasts for the rest of the year and all of the new year; I've made a lot of mistakes recently.

I left my room, and headed into the kitchen. There I found my mother unloading the last of her catered food containers onto the counters. At least she was smart enough not to cook it herself.

"Oh, Sharpay! Just in time, I need help arranging the containers. Do you think it should go salads, meats, pastas, universal dishes. Or salads, pastas, universal dishes, meats? Or!..."

I drowned her out at the point, merely shrugging or nodding my head when she needed assistance. She's so happy today, don't blame her...Dad's consecutively come home at five PM for the past two days. She's probably thinking this party is the cement that's greatly needed in their faltering relationship. It could possibly remind of them of how it used to be before all of the hardships were dropped onto their lives.

Like me and Ryan. They still haven't decided who's taking, and I wouldn't be surprised if they postpone the actual court date until our eighteenth birthday in May. I just don't understand what we did wrong. Or if we did anything wrong at all? I'm just really lost right now.

"Whatever you want Mom. It looks...great."

She smiled, but I didn't see the gray in my face. I escaped back into my room, and cried a little.

**..:….:..**

An hour after I sort of fell asleep, I heard a 'plop' sound. I walked over to a pair of French doors on the side wall of my room. I opened them to see Kelsi jumping from a tree onto my very tiny balcony.

"Whoo! That's my last Tarzan recreation."

I gave her an odd look, "What are you doing here?"

"Hello!" She knocked on my head, "The Eve Party!"

"..."

She dropped her mouth, "Really. We've had this tradition since we were like seven."

"I know." I led the way back to my room, closing the French doors, "But I haven't talked to you since..."

"The sixth." Kelsi smiled sadly, "But still..."

"Aren't you mad at me?"

"Of course I'm mad. I'm furious." She sighed, "But we promised that we'd always be together today; no matter if we were fighting or not."

"But that promise was so long ago..."

She shrugged, "A promise is still a promise." She then dug around in her bag, "I even brought my best Target dress for the partay!" She did a little dance.

I smiled, "I have something better." I walked into my closet, "I wanted to save this as a peace offering, but now's a good a time as ever." I returned with a garment bag.

She gave me a playful stern look, "You don't have to buy anything for me." She unzipped the bag. Inside was a light jade, knee length cocktail dress.

"It's Versache!" Kelsi squealed.

"I noticed you had your eye on it in November when we went window shopping for Christmas." I smiled, "Also." I dug under my bed, and found the shoebox.

She opened it, inside were matching wedged Esperailldes. Kelsi smiled, "Now I won't feel like an awkward loser." We hugged.

"I'm sorry."

"You're forgiven." She smiled, "I have a gift for you too." She dug around in her bag, "I saved up for this since September. I hope you like it."

The blue wrapped box made me immediately know it was from Tiffany's, "Kels..." I opened the box. Inside was a half of heart engraved with the word 'Sister'.

She pointed to her neck, "Who else would have the other piece?" She smiled, I cried a little. She put then necklace on for me.

"What are you wearing?"

I looked down at my Christmas tree dress.

She dropped her mouth again, "You're kidding."

"No." I sighed, "I wanted to wear that." I pointed to the simple, white Prada dress hanging on my berau handle.

"That looks just like the dress Kiera wore in the scene at Netherfield ball in Pride & Prejudice."

I sighed, "I know. I was going to have Ryan style my hair like hers in the scene too since it's finally long enough. I had lilies for my hair and everything. Then my Mom dropped this dress on me..."

"I'll be right back." Kelsi left my room.

...?

"Okay! Get dressed." Kelsi tossed my dress at me.

I caught it, "What!"

"I asked your Mom, and she said 'Oh yes Kelsi! Tell her I'm sorry for putting her in that awful dress!' She sounded very Julia Child-equse." She shrugged, "I'll get Ryan, and you'll look perfect."

**..:….:..**

It took a long time, but a half hour before our lavish party began I was very Kiera Knightly as Elizabeth Bennet. I looked and felt pretty perfect.

"Oh yes i just love visiting Venice in the Fall!" My Mother was lighthearted, and giddy. Pouncing from group to grop, spitting out phrases just to feel that she belongs. It's sad that she feels the need to have acceptance in these things. We've never been to Venice in the Fall.

"Hey." Kelsi bumped my hip with hers, "Enjoying it?"

Our entire apartment was decked in decorations put up maybe a few minutes before everyone arrived. There were empty wrapped boxes under the tree. They served as "presents". The tree itself is vastly decorated, and quite beautiful. It's what everyone remembers us for, and think we do it ourselves. The tree's actually pre-ordered, and if people looked closely they'd know the themes looked too different each year to be similar. Mom always forgets our first pre-ordered tree was "Winter Wonderland".

"No." I sighed, feeling doleful.

"Is this about Troy, Java?"

I nodded, "I would've invited him and Gabi if the whole hospital thing didn't happen."

She pointed to the kitchen, "Go in." She smiled, and walked down the hall to the living room.

I took her advice, and headed into the kitchen. There, looking out the window while holding back the curtain was Troy. I hesitantly walked up to him.

"...Hey..." I waved my hand up, then it smacked onto my thigh.

He turned, his eyes were blood. I noticed the window was open; the smoke made contact with my nose. He made a barely non-verbal notion to note he knew I was there; I coughed from marijuana smog slowly forming.

"Do you hate me?"

"...Yes."

I looked down, my hands folded behind my back. I bit my lip till I felt the tang of blood.

"Reason?"

"Gabi's gone."

"...Gone?"

"She left for the rest of the break." He turned to face me, "She...said...that she couldn't handle the tension you left between us at the hospital."

"But..."

He grabbed my shoulders; I felt the ash of his joint fall on my sleeve, "Go away."

"Why?"

"I want it to be night."

"Troy-"

"Just go!" He had little tears form in the corner of his eyes, "I don't want to see you again. I hate you, Sharpay."

"...S-Sharpay?" My lip quivered. He walked back to the window; I covered my face with my hand. I hiccupped a little.

I opened my mouth, to try and say something to fix whatever it was I did. But no words came; I quickly left. Soon, I felt as if I were flying to my room. As soon as I got inside, I grabbed my pea coat and changed my slippers to Uggs.

"Hey." Kelsi came into my room, "What's going on?"

"H-He hates me!" I said while frantically pacing, "I have to get out of here. Grab some Marlboros out of my Mom's bag."

"But you said you wouldn't go-"

"I don't care what I said!" My whole body shook, "Just do it."

**..:….:..**

I puffed out a drag, watching the clouded smoke fly up into the heavens. I had my arms stretched across a rail on the sidewalk's side; I was looking up at the sky. And I bet if I angled it right, my tears could just freeze before they start. I'm so sick of crying.

"Marlboros?"

I sighed out another drag, and started to think about marijuana. Kelsi sighed, and leaned over the rail; I was trying to think about a more productive way to live. ...Still can't think of anything.

"I have nothing else to smoke."

"You don't have to."

"What?"

"Smoke."

Silence.

I watched glimpses of gray tinged flakes slowly fall down to the city. I never want to feel like this again. Ever.

"I think I'm going to go away."  
>"Where?"<br>"Away from here." I sighed out another drag.

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><p><strong><em>That's all for this chapter.<em>**

**_Review!_**

**_Merry Christmas. =D_**


	17. Taking Back the Liberty

**_Happy New Year everyone._**

**_I hope it was a pretty kicktastic one; for me it was pretty melancholy. Everyone else had lavish parties to attend, so I stayed home to guard the house and feed my depression of feeling alone. But I'm better now. =D_**

**_I also have another gift for you. I spoil you all way too much ;D_**

**_I think that this is a more artistic chapter than anything. The core of it is a dream sequence where Lady G makes another special appearance. =DDD Snaps to her._**

**_I think I have about three more chapters left for this story. I was originally going to pen two, but I have this superstition about ending things with odd numbers. ^/^_**

**_But yes.  
>Enjoy<em>**

**_**Note: I had this and about half the chapter typed up, then I somehow highlighted it all and DELETED it. And I couldn't Undo what I did cause I guess I did too much to get it back or something. I want to seriously hit someone right now. Oh Troooooy...I need to repay you for being such a d-bag last chaaaaaaaapterrrrrrr! ;]_**

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><p><strong>Chapter 17: Taking Back the Liberty<strong>

I stamped out the last of my cigarette. Kelsi gave me a look that was a mix between sympathy and fear. I wanted to tell her that I'd be safe. I'd never take off my necklace to completely forget. But I need to forget enough. I can't stand in these shoes much longer.

We trekked out way back to my apartment. I crossed paths with the boy I never wanted to see again. Through the lobby, our eyes met. His still bled and I know mine are sick of the tears. I let out a jagged sigh before re-entering my "home". Everyone was gone; I heard voices and rustling in the kitchen. The rest of my family, and possibly Chad, must be cleaning up the after effects of the party.

Kels and I entered my room. I walked into my closet, and found the most beat up luggage bag I owned. I tossed the sharpie marked chocolate bag onto my bed. I grabbed a bunch of things that I thought I would need.

"Are you sure about this?" Kelsi looked afraid for me.

"I need to stay away, if only for a little while."

Kelsi sighed and nodded, joining me in stuffing the bag. After fitting everything, we walked into my powder room. Kelsi placed the Walgreen's bag on the sink counter. I sat down, she put on plastic gloves.

"Absolutely positive?"

I nodded again. She opened the box of brunette hair dye, set everything up, and before I knew it-the goop was being strewn throughout my hair. The dye burned a little, I watched a tear fall. I knew it wasn't from the dye, but I'm sick of giving into him. From this moment on, I'll never cry for him again.

**..:….:..**

I showered and changed into a pair of jeans and the grungy-est shirt I owned. I placed my now brunette hair inside one of Ry's many fedoras. The one I specifically stole was styled white-plain and simple. I wanted a memento of him before going. I placed a folded note I wrote to him on his nightstand. Though it's a really shitty way to let him know, Kelsi is more than enough for everyone who needs to know what I'm doing.

I called my relatives in L.A., and told them what I was planning. Since they were cool and laid back, they agreed. I'll be housed with them for the rest of the break.

I stepped onto the train; Kelsi stood by still on the station's dock.

"Call me every night."

"I will." The train whistled, and began to move.

"I can't believe you're doing this!" She shouted over the engine, running to stay in eye sight.

"I have to!" I yelled back, "For me!"

"See you soon!" She stopped when the platform did, waving and crying a bit.

I waved back, picturing him instead of Kelsi. I watched a romantic novel scene pour into my mind, and inwardly I punched myself.

**..:….:..**

I'm standing in a field; it's dark and kind of scary. While I walk through, I spot pieces of things I'm trying to get away from. First were my parents. My mother and father were standing by a lone oak tree in this field; it was termite infested.

"You did this you know."

I looked to my mother. Her hair was graying slightly, and her face was caked in too much make up, "Taking our love, and crushing it beneath our feet."

"What are you talking about?" I knew what they were talking about.

"This." She pointed to Dad, who I now noticed was a corpse of himself, "Killing us, aging us into nothing! Are you happy! Proud!" I was speechless, "Answer me Sharpay!"

"I didn't do anything..." I mumbled.

"What! I couldn't hear you over your guilt, speak up!"

"Guilt?" I looked to her, "What the hell do you know about guilt, Mom!" I let out a breath of power, "It's not me, or-or Ryan; it's the two of you. The fact that Dad never wanted to care about us after leaving car selling, and you stopped caring about your children when you couldn't fit us in between getting wasted at your fucking parties! Don't talk to me about guilt when you're already drowning in it!"

Her eyes turned gray, and her and the corpse of my father crumbled into dust. I kept walking, this field seems endless. I haven't seen any other kind of shrubbery in a while. All I can see are the wilted wildflowers my feet keep crushing.

My eyes squinted as I came upon a twisted willow tree. A group of girls stood around it; the leaves were twisted, and turned as if they were holding something inside-almost caged. I watched the first girl turn; it was Taylor.

"See what you did Sharpay?" She brimmed in fire and poison of feeling like she was winning a fight, "You crushed Gabriella and Troy, you-"

"It's not true Sharpay..." The other girl turned. It was Granny,"...I just didn't know what else to say-"

"-deliberately ruined them in the hospital." Taylor took a look at Granny, "Now Troy's smoking himself to death, and Gabi's-"

"-to him." Granny noted Taylor's presence as well, but they never interacted with each other, "I think it was for the best though. He was never-"

"-barley able to be near him." Taylor scoffed in disgust, "You obviously know nothing about love, or else you'd never-"

"-in love with me." Granny shrugged, "He always talks about his Sunshine, and how she brightens his days. But leading up to-"

"-do something like that to them." Taylor shook her head, "Picturing you with Troy is the ugliest, and the most distasteful thing I've ever ruined my thought process with. You are-"

"-the last few days, he completely changed. He started thinking I was his sun Shar. I know that's not true, I know that-"

"-such a selfish bitch." Taylor laughed in full spite, "And a worthless one at that. Who's the helpless little girl in high heels, pretending she's grown up?-"

"It's you." They finished simultaneously.

I was confused beyond all belief; as if listening to the two of them-trying to decipher what they're trying to say was bad enough...

"What are you hiding?" I looked to the two of them.

They returned the confused yet curious glance, "What do you mean?"

I tried looking in between the various strands of leaves; I know there's something inside them, "Why are you two standing by this tree?" I looked to them, "Why do you seem like your guarding something caged inside?"

"We're not-"

I pushed them away, fingering through the leaves to get inside. In the grove by the trunk of the tree; she was there. A little girl sits in the grass nearby, and giggles softly. She was making up stories with the dolls in her hand.

"Lenny I said that I liked you, a lot! How could you do this to me!" The blonde doll in her left hand was yelling at the boy doll with brunette hair in her right hair.

I walked closer, picking up a red headed girl doll, "Sarah, I'm sorry, but I like Lenny too. I guess we shouldn't be friends anymore."

"Fine Jane." The little girl smiled up at me, "I've been alone for a long time. Thank you for playing with me."

"No problem." I smiled sadly, knowing who this little girl was. She was me.

"Jane, I'm crazy about you." She mocked a deep tone the best a seven year old could, "I want us to be more than just friends."

"Oh Troy I-" I stopped, realizing I didn't say Lenny.

She smiled up at me, "Don't forget." She stood up, and walked out of the leaves; I followed her. When I opened the leaves, little me, Taylor, and Granny were gone. I stepped through the leaves, and began to walk again. I'm surprised my legs are still carrying me.

I haven't remembered that part of myself; I tried to suppress it because it made me remember the father I wished was still in existence. The petals under my feet begin to cut their pads. I felt the urge to lie down, and see what else they'd cut.

"You're traveling deeper." I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see my past confidant Lady Gaga.

"So what was it about us being like air?" I noted, while verbally smacking her with my bitterness, she actually looked somewhat normal. She was clothed in a simple white dress, and her makeup was neutral.

"Even the air thins at time." She looked out on the horizon. It was still dark-the moon was peeking through the clouds I never noticed above.

"That's all?"

"What. Do you need an explanation?"

"Aren't you my sensei?"

She let out a short sigh, laughing lowly, "It's like how humidity makes air thick, and winter makes it thin. Have you noticed the snow lately?"

I looked at her in astonishment, "That was you?"

"That was the weather." She laughed, "Do I look like Mother Nature?"

"Last time I was on this field, it seemed like summer."

We had a stare off. She sighed, "This battle isn't between you and me. You are currently experiencing winter in your dreams. Dreaming about fears that have manifested in your mind."

"So...I fear my parents, that was obvious. But Taylor, Granny, and mini-me?"

"Your fear of being stifled by others. Did you notice that you've never been as trusting as you were when you were little? How your little self just smiled as you played as Jane."

"You were watching?" I looked to her.

"I see everything you do; I'm your inner confidence."

I sighed, and just stared on, "The petals?"

"The pain you feel of being irrelevant to everyone you care for. Troy only being the tip of that iceberg."

You feel it too?"

Gaga nodded, "Course I do. But the last fear in this field, you can't handle alone. I'll be with you when we reach it. If it's too much, just look for me."

"...Okay."

She led me across the field; I felt my feet cut deeper and deeper till I noticed small red footprints I made. We ended up to what looked like the end of the field. It was almost as if this entire plane was floating in the dark. Above there was nothing, below there was nothing.

"There." She pointed to a wilting evergreen tree; it looked like there was a person standing underneath.

"Who is it?"

"See for yourself. Just turn if it's too much." She softly pushed me towards the tree, "Good luck."

I tried to walk as calmly as I could with razor petals under my feet; when I did reach the tree, I placed my hand on the person's shoulder. Their back was to me, "U-Ummm..."

They turned, "Sunshine..." I felt my entire self spin; phlegm welled up in my throat. I resisted the urge to throw up out of the fear Gaga meant.

I shook my head, "Not to your standards...no."

"Let me apologize..."

I bit my lip, "No...I-" I turned to look at Gaga.

**..:….:..**

"Miss...miss!"

I took in a sharp breath, springing into a more rigid sitting position. It took me a while to realize where I was. Train. California. Running.

Right.

I sighed, and let my eyes dilate to what little light was in my compartment. My seating partner flashed on the compartments overhead light by hitting a switch by the door. I took in another sharp breath, stretching a little on the cushioned seat that was mine.

"Are you alright?" The woman traveling in my compartment with me was an older type. I'd guess mid 30's, early 40's,"You were jumpy, and sweaty. Sometimes yipping in pain."

"I was having a very odd nightmare." I shrugged, "Sorry."

She smiled, "I'm getting off soon. You never told me where you were headed?"

"California..." I looked out the pleated glass window.

"Well." The train slowed to a stop. She smiled, "This is goodbye. It was nice to meet you...?"

"Angelina." I smiled, "You too." She left.

I had a choice here. Go along, stay at my aunt's place in L.A., and come back. Or get off. Right here, right now and become this "Angelina" in Ghostown, California.

My hands gripped the straps of my bag; my knuckles were turning white.

I got up, and off the train.

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><p><strong><em>That's all for now.<br>Sorry if the Taylor/Granny thing was confusing, I wrote it as if they were overlapping each other. Both of them trying to get Shar to listen to them.  
>=D Mozel Tov! [Thanks Black Eyed Peas xP]<em>**


	18. Phone Calls

**_Hay people hayyyyyyy!_**

**_So! I've started the next semester in my freshman year of college! And that means BIGGER loads of classes! Which also means-kicking my ASS to write for you guys! But don't get me wrong, for whatever reason I always get the best inspiration while I'm at school. It's just compromises my grades. ^/^_**

**_So yeah-I'll be sporadically writing/updating for those of you who still follow me. 2 chapters left!_**

**_Enjoy!  
>:B<em>**

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><p><strong>Ch. 18: Phone Calls<strong>

I walked down the street past the train station. All of the voice screaming at me to spend the rest of my money on the ticket to get back on track-I stifled them. For once, I was taking my own direction. I was being the person I thought I never could be.

After walking a while down the road, reality set it. I have little money to spend on food and other needs, I have no place to stay, and I know I can't pay for a hotel room and necessities and a ticket home. Maybe I shouldn't stifle just yet. There was a thrift store, "Adele's Little Old Things", at the corner of the next intersection. I sped walked to it, and entered hoping to possibly find some sort of mercy.

One of the cashiers looked my way, "Welcome to Adele's Little Old Things. We sell everything cheap, and pay full for anything you want to give away."

Of course. I walked up to her, "How about a sale's transaction?" I plopped my bag onto the counter.

She had three hoops of metal in the upper cartilage of her ear. Diamond studs in the bottom, and was adorned in a white long sleeved shirt with black mesh over it, and ripped jeans.

"What about one?"

I pointed to the bag, "How much would I get if I sold everything in this bag to you?"

Her fingers had silver bands on them; I noticed while she sifted through the items, "I'd give you...about the contents of my cash register..." She left out a breath of laughter.

"Seriously?" I looked at her- bewildered.

"Lemme call Adele." She picked up a phone nearby, and hit the speaker button, "Adele to register twelve." Her voice boomed through the main speakers in the store, "Adele to register twelve."

I spotted a reddish brown haired girl walk through the back of the store to register twelve,"Hi." She smiled, "I'm Adele."

I smiled, "Angelina."

"What's up?" She looked to the cashier, "Ivy teasing you for buying 'lame' clothes." She laughed-light and sweet.

Ivy shook her head, "Look what she wants to sell us."

Adele now went through my bag, "Whoa, that's a lot of name brands. And in amazing condition..." She sighed, "I don't think I can take these."

I pursed my lips, "I need the money to stay here for a while."

"Left home?" Ivy asked.

I nodded, "In a way."

"Well, if you need money we need extra help here." Adele shrugged, "You can live in our small house down the way; we just got the attic finished into a guest room. You could stay if you like."

"Really?" I looked to them in disbelief.

"Adele doesn't kid." Ivy smiled at her, "She maybe my younger sister, but she means what she says."

"Okay." I smiled, "I just need to call someone first."

"Sure." Ivy pushed the bag towards me,"I get off in five minutes. We'll drive back together."

I nodded grabbed my bag, and walked outside. I dialed Kelsi's number.

"Yellow?"  
>"Green."<br>"Java!"  
>"Hi."<p>

"What's up?"

I looked out at the busy street, "Change of plans. I got off the train like halfway through the trip."

She sounded worried, "Where are you?"

"Some unknown town. I don't know, anyway. I found a place to stay so don't freak. I also am going to work at a thrift store."

"Hmmm. You going by Angelina?"

"And you'll be my kid sister Jane."

"Alright. Can I tell?"

"No." I sighed a little, "Not yet at least."

"Kay Sis." She raised her voice a little to make herself a believable thirteen.

At that point, Ivy came out of the store, "Love you Jane." I hung up.

"Jane?" Ivy asked while running her fingers through her croppy, blue tinted hair.

"My kid sister." I explained while she led the way to her car, "We tell each other everything, she's my best friend."

Ivy nodded, opening up her car door, "Get in Angie."

I smiled, taking shotgun.

**..:….:..**

_Kelsi_

"Love you Jane." Shar clicked off. I raspberried my lips for ten minutes, trying to think of how to deal with this plate of hoopla.

Hoopla...Spongebob.  
>Ooo! Focus Jane! Kelsi...man!<p>

I jumped off my bed, and headed downstairs, "Hello...?" I called out tentatively, "Family!" When I realized no one was home, I grabbed the keys to my car and left.

I've been avoiding my Madre recently, and if she ever sees me she sticks...like an unwanted zit at the top of my nose. Ouch. Satisfied with my self-made/known burn, I drove to the Evans' apartment complex. I wonder if Ry-bear has read the letter yet. That was a pretty dinky way for letting him know. I mean, if I wanted to tell my family lifeline that I was ditching my life-I think I'd go with word of mouth. But that's just me.

I parked my car into the garage complex, and walked to the end of the block to the actual apartment complex. I was buzzed in by Ry-bear, and headed up to their apartment.

"Babycakes!" I hugged my bundle of dramatic nerves. Ryan hugged my back, then sighed a bit. He led me to the living room where he fell upon the couch ala Soap Opera starlets. I sat down next to him.

"She left me a letter."

"I know."

"A freaking letter..." He started to tear up a bit, "Sorry I need to ditch the family for a while...?"

"I know she wasn't that blunt." His head was in my lap. I was stroking his hair, "But she's safe okay?"

"You know that?"

I looked up towards the ceiling, "I feel it, ya know?"

**..:….:..**

_Sharpay_

"Hey Jane."  
>"Angie? It's your brother."<p>

I looked up from my spot at the kitchen table. Ivy was cooking away by the stove while Adele was perched in the laundry room in the next room over. I slowly left the kitchen, and headed upstairs towards the attic.

"What's going on?"

"He's upset on how you ended things." I could hear the tint of sadness in her tone, "When are you coming back?"

I opened the attic door, "Maybe soon, maybe never-I don't know. I like being here."

"Don't you think you're being a little selfish?"

"Everyone else has been why can't I?" I quickly bid her goodbye, and hung up.

It's not that I'm weeding out my family; I honestly care for them a lot. I just want to weed out the badness in Sharpay. I don't want to be the girl that everyone throws their problems on; I want to pick what I can and can't handle and just go with it. And if that makes me sound selfish that so be it.

Though I guess I should call Ry.  
>I sighed, and flipped my Sidekik open.<p>

"Hello?"

"Ry?" I didn't mean to sound so small, "It's me."

It was quiet on the line; I heard what sounded like a sigh, and then a few sniffles, "How are you?"

"I'm okay." I closed the door to my room, and walked over to my bed. I laid down, and listened to him talk. He talked about a lot of things-mostly Mom and Dad's waning relationship, and how tense things have been between him and Chad. I held back the urge to cry with him. His world's falling apart like mine is, and I've just up and left him; I abandoned him. Well, Sharpay did; Angelina doesn't seem to care.

I'm really sick of fighting with my alter ego.

I told him that if he needs me-just call. Everyone here will know him as Jesse, and I told him to call me Angelina. We hung up soon after.

"Hey. Want some chow?" Ivy popped her head in as I was dozing off.

I lifted myself up, "Sure." I got off my bed, and followed her to the kitchen. Ivy had made an amazing dish that I couldn't pronounce-she said it originated in Spain. Adele smiled as the three of us sat down, and she commented on how much she loved Ivy's cultural cooking. I just smiled along-hoping that they wouldn't catch that I felt as out-of-place as ever. The food was cooked well though; I commend Ivy for being an amazing chef.

After dinner, Ivy and Adele settled in different places of the house. One to read and the other to veg while Youtubing on her laptop. I just headed back to the attic, wanting to be alone.

**..:….:..**

_Kelsi_

"No! Roo don't, I'm tellin' you! Not a good idea-" I watched Roo, my baby sister, trip down the stairs.

"PIGLET!" I covered my ears; she's got Mariah pipes. She's a four year old cutie who's in love with Winnie the Pooh. I'm Piglet, my brother Jamie is Tigger, She's Roo, and my parents are Kanga and Owl. What a pairing that'd be in the One-Hundred Arce Wood.

"Okay Roo..." I picked her up, her legs wrapped around my sides while her arms snaked around my neck. I rocked her like a baby till she calmed down; this happens at least once every day. Roo's not the balanced type.

My phone went off; I grabbed it out my jeans pocket, and answered.

"Hello?"  
>"Jane?"<br>"Angie." I set Roo down after she stopped crying; she ran off to play. I walked into the nearby family room, and collapsed onto the couch, "What's going on?"

"I really like staying here, ya know?"

"Yeah, I can imagine." The doorbell rang, "But don't you feel like something's missing."

"Like what?"

I liked up, "Like who's at the door...I'll call you later." I hung up.

"Kelsi."

I smiled, "Troy."

"Were you talking to her?"

I bit my lip-shrugging a bit, "Yeah, I was."

"So..." I led him to the couch in the family room, "You know where she is?"

I nodded, "up I do."

"You going to tell me?"

"Do you think she'd want to see you?"

He was silent for a while, "I want to see her."

I smiled, and told him everything.

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><p><strong><em>That's all for now!<br>Snaps for the guest POV appearance of Kelsi!  
>Review!<br>:B_**


	19. Only Ice Cream, Never Sundaes

**_So! I was really depressed, and I like to stay up really late. So, I decided to write the second to last chapter of this story. I don't think it's amazing, but I got everything that I wanted to across. It was half knowing what I needed before the finale, and half filler. =D So yeah enjoy!  
>One chapter left ya'll!<em>**

**_:B_**

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><p><strong>Ch. 19: Only Ice Cream, Never Sundaes<strong>

I breathed deep, my eyes shifted before opening themselves. At times, I tend to think that Adele and Ivy's place is nonexistent. It's almost as if I'm in my bed back home lost in a comatose state. But then my now-brown locks fall into my eyes, and I remember that my dreams make me feel happier than this. I wonder when I first began to feel depressed; before or after the hair dye?

"Hey Mopey Mandy." I looked ot my doorway, Ivy's head sticking through "You want to work today, or what?"

I mumbled some coherent reply (something between a "yeah", and "sorry"), and tumbled out of my bed. I grabbed jeans and a Hollister tee making my way to the bathroom downstairs. I've been having repeats of my "dead field" dream; each time I give Troy more words to say. But I don't want to listen-I can't. How could you listen to someone like him? The beautifully tragic yet fragile naive child. I wish he'd grow up, and stay the same.

I ask for impossibilities.

I met with Adele in the kitchen, she smiled warmly.

"How are you feeling?"

I shrugged while watching her create pancakes out of homemade batter, "It seems the more I run, the worse I feel."

"That's how it always is though." Adele flipped the cake when it was cooked enough, "If you run, all you're doing is giving it enough to time catch up. And it always does."

"I know." I looked to the ground, pursing my lips. I didn't want to feel this way; Adele is totally right. But that doesn't mean that I want to stop; I don't know, I thought that running was better than facing the problem. All it's done is cause more damage; I've never felt a hurt like this.

"Maybe this Troy is different now." Adele plopped the pancake onto a nearby plate, and started another.

"No, he changed. So did I, and I don't think anything can salvage what we once were."

"Every sun has to set at some time."

I looked at her, "W-What?"

"You know; bad things happen: The sun setting." She placed a hand on my shoulder,"But that doesn't mean the morning is far off. Night just wants a turn for a little while."

I nodded, "Yeah." I wiped my eyes, "I guess it does."

She went back to cooking; my mood lifted a little.

**..:….:..**

"That'll be twelve seventy." I smiled as the customer handed me exactly twelve seventy. They took their bags, and left the store. I blew out a sigh, readjusting my ponytail. Ivy, two aisles down, giggled. I looked to her.

"What."

"This guy bought a bra."

"...So?"

"For his wife." She was in hysterics.

"And?"

She stopped abruptly, "Nevermind."

My eyes widened."Okaaay..." I opened the cash register to do the "hourly money count". Adele's really weird around the store's income. If we don't meet a certain amount by...blahblahblah.

"Damn..." I muttered while watching a quarter fly to the floor; I squatted down.

"Uh...hello? Light's on..."

"Just give me a second!" Where is that quarter...ah! I slowly rose; meeting eyes with the source of all my depression.

"AHH! FUCK!" My head collided with the open cash register drawer.

"A-Are you okay?"Troy leaned over to close the drawer. I stood up with a bewildered expression on my face.

"Why, Who, Kelsi!" I whispered in urgent anger.

"Angie, you okay?" Ivy called.

"Peachy!" I practically screeched back; I turned to look at him.

He took my hand, and like instinct, I followed. Troy led me outside, and walked me to a nice, secluded park down the street. We sat on a bench under a big evergreen tree; it was the kind with no needle branches at the bottom. It felt vaguely familiar.

"I wanted to see you again." He smiled sheepishly, as if he knew he's taken one too many cookies, "Nice hair."

"Why, to make me feel worse or what."

"Look...Sunshine please-"

"Please what." I slid a little away from him, "Forget what I said even though in health class we learned that drugs bring out what we hold in?"

"Don't think like that. Look, I'm sorry for what I said."

"Well, you can't take it back."

He looked stricken, "Why not?"

"Because..." I felt my emotions quiver with unwanted memories, "You broke my heart!"

A small breeze filtered through.

"...Well-"

"What. Did you think I'd be sitting, waiting for you to get past your high rantings? J-Just drop my life, and be beside you forever. When you blamed me for everything? I sighed shortly, "God, Gabby leaving was my fault, you having feelings for her. Oh! I wouldn't be surprised, if you could, you'd blame your leukemia on me too."

"Look Sunshine, I know you're angry-"

"Angry." My eyes showed him all the pain I'd been through in the past couple of months. It fell like liquid, "I-I'm furious! I can't be that girl for you. The one that you blame everything on, and expect her to be there in a leisurely snap of your fingers. I'm done being your doormat!"

"Sunshine, I-I love you!"

Our eyes locked.

"I hate you!" I wiped my eyes.

**..:….:..**

I closed the door of my temporary house; Ivy and Adele gave me an odd look. Both of them were on the stairwell.

"What happened?" Adele had the mother look in her eyes.

"I'd rather not." I opened the door, "Fresh air..." I left the house.

"Okay Mom! I'll be back in a few-" I collided with some random person while losing myself to my thoughts.

"I'm sorry I-" My face dropped to the ground, "Gabriella..."

She smiled, "Sharpay. I like your hair."

"Why are you here?"

"I have relatives that I visit over breaks here." She shrugged, "You?"

"Running from my problems." I decided to walk with her, "Where you headed?"

"The grocery store, we're making Italian food tonight." She smiled again, "So, how are you?"

"I just killed my chances of Troy ever seeing me again."

She nodded, "You know...we broke up before Christmas? Surprised he never told you...he said that he misses his light, and that I wasn't the person that brought it."

"Really...?"

"Yeah." Granny shrugged, "I knew I wasn't the right girl for him the moment he asked me out. But I liked him, you know?"

"I know..."

"So why not tell him?'

"Because I hate him."

"Do you?" We stopped at the connivance store, "Well, it was nice talking to you again." She walked into the store.

I was baffled; did I just get a pep talk from Granny? My life has had its one freak out moment of the year. As I walked back "home", I couldn't help but agree. I do care for Troy a lot. But I know it's officially over; I drove another wedge between us-too big to remove.

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><p><strong><em>Like I said, not too happy with this one.<br>You know what to do;  
>Review for the finale!<em>**

**_:B_**


	20. Three Words, Eight Letters

**_O.O OMG YOU GUYS! THIS IS IT, the final chapter to I'll Point You to the Mirror! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!  
>I can't believe I finally finished this! I'm still like "Hey, oh, whoa...!"<em>**

**_SO! Anyway, I'd like to dedicate this amazing piece of shibazzle to sullenxgirl._**

**_sullenxgirl: O.O Do you know why! I'll tell you why, you're the reason this piece is in EXISTENCE! I know right? Without you consistent reviews, this piece would've died-as would have my energy to stay on this site. So hat's off to you sweetie!-throws your fave flowers- You're the bestest! ;D_**

**_So-passing the cheese, here's the finale of Mirror!_**

**_Thanks for taking this long and DRAMA-filled journey with me, and I hope all yall who've favorited/alerted will review! That'd be the coolest ever!_**

**_:B_**

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><p><strong>Ch. 20: Three Words, Eight Letters<strong>

"That'll be twelve seventy..." I looked up in a sort of state of shock; that was the same price Troy had paid. The man himself just gave me one of those 'Psychco...' looks before grabbing his bag. He left, and I practically collapsed my upper half onto the counter.

"Tired yo?"

"When did you pick up saying yo after each sentence?" I looked up to aisle twelve.

Ivy shrugged, "Dunno, I like the word yo, yo."

I shrugged, and flicked my light off; I really can't handle another "twelve seventy" aspect. I've been getting weird signs from everywhere recently. Every day, I sit under some sort of pine tree; no matter where I am. In my dreams, he keeps inching closer and closer to the edge of the field. He's so close to jumping off, and it scares me. I've visited countless cemeteries within the last week. I just haven't had a reason to back home; I have more than enough from working for a train ticket. There's just something about this place that doesn't want to let me go; maybe I just can't let go yet. I don't know.

**..:….:..**

Back at home, Adele silently started dinner. She mentioned that Ivy was busy working till close; I watched her mouth move, but I didn't really know what she was saying. Adele can be super sweet, but I just wanted to eat dinner. It tasted like sandpaper; I sort of wanted to cry. That night when I went to sleep, I had the same dream again.

My feet bled from traveling so far down the dead field. Troy waited by the wilted pine tree. It always started the same; he turns towards me, and exclaims:

"Sunshine please let me explain..."

And by this time, I normally would say something to discourage him. Cut him off, and then try to push him away. This time, I tried to listen.

"I'm listening."

He paused, possibly out of surprise, "I know I haven't been the greatest friend...pushing you away and all. I thought that you were trying to hinder me from something that would just me in the end...I hurt myself more by not choosing you..."

"You hurt me too..." My voice cracked, and I tried to hold back my emotions.

"I-I know..." He was loosely hanging onto the tree; his eyes seemingly glued to the bottomlessness below this floating field.

"Is that all...?"

He shook his head, "I'll make your indecision easier for you."

"What do you mean?"

"I've decided that since we both can never be happy, I'm taking myself out of the equation."

"How?"

His arm began to loosen its hold around the trunk of the tree, "Bye Sunshine. I love you."

"No-wait!"

He fell.

**..:….:..**

I shot up in bed-covered in sweat. I vaguely remember Ivy coming in late, and cranking up the heater to 'Sahara Desert' setting. But I knew the real reason I was sweating, I let him jump. I could've reached out, and told him that I loved him just as much; I let him fall.

I'm such a bitch.

I slowly rose out of bed, and walked downstairs into the bathroom. The moon hung behind me-casting a silver glow, and allowing me to see my reflected self in the mirror through the darkness of dawn. I tried so hard to see the part of myself that was still his. I tried so hard to believe that what has happened between us was nothing, and that I couldn't do anything about it now. It was all water under the bridge.

My breath quickened, and my fist collided with the mirror. I watched pieces connect with my wrist, and fall. And I realized that even though everything is in pieces-something is still there, lying in the rubble. I quickly ran upstairs, wrapped my wrist, and packed my past and present into my bag. Before I left, I scribbled down a letter, and left it by the mirror.

.**.:….:..**

_Dear Adele and Ivy,_

_You deserve a hell of a lot more than a letter. I guess I'll start with some truths. My name is actually Sharpay Evans. Jane is my best friend Kelsi, and Jesse is actually my twin Ryan. Troy is the only real name I fed you; I guess by becoming Angelina (my middle name), I was running away from everything I knew couldn't be. Sharpay was this brittle girl who was losing everything around her and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't be what was expected of her. Angelina was a brunette goddess with a journey uncharted. She could be anything I wanted her to be; I guess I didn't like who she became as I looked in the mirror this morning. Oh...sorry about that._

_I was running so hard, I realized that everything I was running from had that much of an advantage catching up. I had been having a reoccurring dream of Troy under a dying pine tree; tonight was the first time he jumped off the floating field. And I let him, I didn't stop him. Then I went into the bathroom, and checked my reflection. I saw everything that made me become so ugly, and unloving. I wanted to become Sunshine again [what Troy used to call me], and I got all artistic and decked your mirror. I'm so sorry, but if you're ever in the Albuquerque, New Mexico area-I'll pay you back!_

_~Sharpay_

**..:….:..**

I clutched the handles on my bag, and stepped off the train at the Albuquerque Station. And then:

"AHHHHHHH!" Can you guess?

I was tackled and knocked to the ground by the combined effort of Kelsi and Ryan. Ry, being a gentleman, took my bag while Kelsi and I waist linked our arms. The three of us walked; me in the middle.

"So! How are you!" Kelsi smiled while Ryan led the way to the car.

I shrugged, "It's a lot colder here than in California." We both laughed, "I missed you." We stopped to hug, "It was so hard to not be like 'Come here!, I need you!', you know?"

"I would've been there in a heartbeat-ooo! As an official Homecoming gift-Ry and I have something special for you...!"

Ryan smiled as he handed me a box from Dolce & Gabana, I smiled.

"The one thing I sort of missed." I laughed while opening the lid, and moving the tissue. Inside was a bright yellow knit hat.

"It's just like his..." Kelsi sadly smiled while putting half of my hair inside, and resting it by the back of my bangs.

"Troy originally bought it at some thrift store, and he wanted to give it to you when you two re-met, but..." Ryan sighed, "Well, you know."

I nodded, "Yeah, that was me. But thank you guys..." I hugged the two of them; we got into my car, and I drove us back to my home.

**..:….:..**

I sighed, pulling back the linen drape of my room's window. Today was a strange Indian summer day; it was currently seventy-one degrees with a slight chance of rain (according to Kelsi). Rumors had been flying throughout the school about Troy. Why he hasn't been back to school yet, and if he were even alive. I didn't listen to them; praying to myself, and somehow hoping that he was somewhere. Something's still there, even with all the darkness around him-I haven't given up. Not yet.

I threw on a white tank top, and my gray knit sweater trench. A pair of jeans covered my lower torso, and dirtied black Chuck's (from Adele's) donned my feet, I had my yellow knit hat on just like before. I drove to the one place I knew he'd be; call it "Sunshine's Instinct".

I parked in the cemetery's park lot, and heard the thunder roar. Fearing the sky panther, I grabbed an umbrella in my backseat. I left, and traveled through the maze of grave and tree. When I finally reached Mrs. Bolton's grave, I saw him. Troy was practically dressed like me save for a white tee shirt and black knit cap instead; I now noticed a pine tree directly behind Mrs. B's grave.

"H-Hey!"

Time seemed to stop as he lifted his head from its resting position on its arm. When he turned to look at me, I noted his eyes were puffy and red.

"What."

I literally felt the cold burst of negativity shot at me; I shivered.

"I know that you...probably hate me, and I don't deserve forgiveness. But, I've noticed that the moon in your life has been in the sky for too long. A-And, I know a sun looking for a day job." I slightly laughed at my own joke.

He shot samurai blades at me with those eyes; the rain began to fall. I put up my umbrella.

"Please...at least for shelter from the rain?" I motioned towards the umbrella.

"I don't need help from you." He placed his head back down onto his arm; the rain pelted his crumpled form.

"You need help from someone." I felt tears trail down my cheeks, "Whether it be from me or not shouldn't matter-"

"What should matter is your relevance of being here!" He shouted to cut me off, "I don't remember any gravestones slabbed with Evans, do you!"

"N-No..."

"Then why are you here."

"I don't know." My entire frame began to tremble, "Because I shut out the o-one person I knew I shouldn't. A-And I feel so stupid-please Troy! I don't know if this can be fixed or not. But...I w-want to try."

A flash of lightening zipped above us; he didn't respond. I turned, taking the journey back to my car. I tried...

"Do you know why...I call you Sunshine...?"

I stopped, and headed back, "No. Why?"

He met my halfway, "Because..." He then sang in a soft, broken...but beautiful voice,"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. you make me happy-" He cracked,"When skies are gray. You'll never know dear how much I love you...please don't take my sunshine...away." My body trembled again; he pulled me close. The umbrella slipped from my hands.

We shared our first kiss in the rain.

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><p><strong><em>Okay!<br>I know right! WHAT! THAT'S ALL!  
>I did write a sort of "Afterwards" to Mirror-which would have started where this ended, but I really hate how it came out. So! This is all you'll hear of this!<br>If I do feel like it, I might release the "Afterwards" as a short oneshot, but I highly doubt it._**

**_But yes! This is the original, intended ending for I'll Point You to the Mirror; thank you so much for reading this shit. It loves you just as much as you do!_**

**_xoxo.  
>BxD<em>**


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